What is Postpartum Anxiety?

Hey guys. Welcome back Alliance podcast. It's Sarah and Whitney. Ok, we're in May. So we're in um maternal mental health month. 

You guys know from last week we covered postpartum depression this week. We're going to be called out postpartum anxiety. That would be me truly. So that was me. Let's start off with the difference between postpartum depression, anxiety. 

Give us like a basic rundown here. So in a nutshell, depression is going to be more symptoms of the sad and the withdrawn, the isolation, the lack of motivation. We're gonna have teary episodes. We're gonna have self-deprecating thoughts, negative self-talk. We're gonna again have that lack of motivation. 

We may not be sleeping much, not based on baby schedule, but just as a whole, we're not going to be sleeping much. We may not be eating a whole lot or it could be the extreme of sleeping all the time and eating all the time as a form of comfort. So we're gonna see almost, I hate to use this word but for like it's almost like a sluggish experience like you're in a fog and you just can't move, move. So visual people think of like postpartum depression, like blues, like, think of the color blue and, like, you're like yours about thing but, like, just very, like, it's hard to put one ft in front of the other. You're hopeless. It's the sad, think about how. 

And, um, oh, I can't remember in Zootopia when they go to the DMV. And you have all the sloths there and they're working so slowly that is what depression can feel like because you don't have to get up and go and you don't want to do that. You just want to be left alone because then that's a hopelessness. That's the um suicidal thoughts, feelings, audiation. Now, anxiety I feel is like red in a visual concept, like fear and like I get orangey vibes from it, red, orange vibes, stressful. It is. So with anxiety, you're going to be more hyper vigilant. So you're going to be very aware. And that is, and that is why you can't sleep is because you feel like you're peeking all the time. 

Not necessarily that you're energetic somehow. You find energy to stay awake, but it's because you're so convinced something bad will inevitably happen that you can't let your guard down. So you stay on high guard all the time, which that is like, it's exhausting, it wears you down it so quickly and you know, so it's like, literally, if you think about it, like maybe you're detached, you're disconnected or you're hopeless that you're a postpartum depression. If you're that, then here's anxiety. It's like you're so this so like I felt like I was so consumed with the thoughts of will because I had so and this is something we're separating the topics, but they are interchangeable that you can experience both. And so you can be like, yes, I think I have postpartum depression. 

Yes, I think I'm having some anxiety too and you're right. You may be so, but the core of it is there's help for both. So don't feel like, oh there's only X for postpartum depression, I have post anxiety, I know or whatever. Um So know that both are, you know, temporary, we can get it treated, we can fix this. But the anxiety part I think is just as common as postpartum depression. But I don't think people so there's not even a true like diagnosis, right? In that um what is the psychiatric book that you the DS M five? Right? And like, so I think that's part of the reason why postpartum anxiety is either grouped under postpartum depression or is just not spoken about told or educationally. 

There's like a big umbrella term for it called the P ads. OK. And so that is pregnancy slash postpartum mental anxiety, depression. OK. So they just put everything under like what they did, they kind of made a blanketed statement for it, which is not the worst thing in the world. But when you are speaking to your doctor and your therapist, you do want to get in which they should be asking questions. 

Anyway, you want to get into the nitty gritty of what you're actually experiencing. What's these thoughts in your head? Well, because if you are seeking the route of a medication, you can do an anxiety medication or an antidepressant and we got to decide what's and you have to know the difference between the depression versus anxiety. So the anxiety to me, what I experienced and like, I was super hyper vigilant about tracking how much breast milk we have to the ounce. 

I was obsessive over his sleep to the minute when he like, I would say his wake window should be something absurd like 100 and two minutes. And I would just watch that clock and I'd be like, I wouldn't put him down to 100 and one. It'd be 100 and two. And then I would just be like, OK, now he's gonna sleep for approximately two hours. And if he didn't, then that would send me over the edge. I remember someone being like, are you really getting this upset about the minute? And I was like, yes. And it was so important to me and I was like, oh my gosh, now I can look back and I'm like red flag, red flag, red flag, obsessiveness, literally killing myself to pump ounces. So I could know how many ounces I had for him that day and I had a lot. 

Yeah, I used um, the Glove Baby app which no shame to them. It was a good app and it did help me track wits and dirty diapers. It helped me track how much formula the girls were getting their naps and sleep and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I didn't necessarily get as obsessive with the feedings, which I do think formula feeding took that off of me. Let me just be real about that. But the sleep I did become obsessive over. But also this and I say this because this was me. And this is such a in my head, a textbook symptom of postpartum anxiety when you are so terrified or obsessive about SIDS, which is sudden infant death syndrome that you can't sleep even when your baby is sleeping and you're following all the safe sleep rules. 

That is postpartum anxiety. And I say that because I lived it, I made my life way harder than it had to be because I refused to sleep when my child slept at night. Same because I thought I had to stay up to watch her because if I didn't, she would die. There was no, if it was wood, I mean, it was to the point sometimes I was counting his breast per minute. I've done that during R S V. Uh And I was, and I think a lot of that new helped me in the transition from Nick to that was that because, like, I felt at ease because he had monitors on him and I didn't even know about the outlet immediately coming home. 

I had to do my own research and then I think that has a great place. Um, like, but I also was obsessed with that reading number. Yeah, I will say for me, the snoozer, which is the one we used with my oldest daughter. And then the is what we used with my second daughter, the snoozer. At least just it was an alarm, it was an alarm. The outlet was like 96%. And then I'd be like, why is he not 100%? 

This were going to go down. And I felt that way when Sammy had R S V and I had her all on her because I mean, one time I want to say she dipped to like 95 which is still not terrible, especially when, you know, you're dealing with R S V. But, but I freaked out and I can remember calling the pediatrician's office and I was like, hey, her 02 dip down, you know, do we need to bring her in? What do we need to do? Blah, blah, blah, all the things. And they said, well, give us her readings over however many hours it was. And I was like, well, we got of 97 we've got 95 we dipped to 94. 1 time we're back to 97 da da da. And then said, ok, we're averaging at a pretty decent amount. You know, what are her, what is her respiration rate? It was like, how many breasts per minute are we taking? Because that tells us, are we using auxiliary muscles? Is she laboring to breathe things of that nature? And she wasn't, and they said if she's not doing that and we're not dipping to 92 on her suds, it's ok. And it's just, I think it was, it was a good product. 

I still like it. But to me, in that I was really suffering and then I was also suffering in the sense that and anxiety about driving the car with him, you know, and those intrusive thoughts come in. Yeah, I love those where it's like we're driving, what if I get hit? What am I gonna do? What am I going to do? And then, or we'd be driving over a bridge and I'd be like, oh my God, what if I drove off that bridge? 

Yeah, I've had those escape routes in my head before I'm like, well, if I'm driving over a bridge, ok, I need to make sure I hit the sunroof button and I hit the window button and then I go ahead and get back there and I start unbuckling and all the things and my thought was get him out the sunroof and I'm like, and then before I'm even over the bridge. I have this escape plan. Well, mine was just like we kept going in my head and I was like, why is this happening to me? And I didn't tell anybody what I was thinking because I was like, I'm crazy. So to kind of give a differentiation between postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety with these thoughts, postpartum depression, you're probably gonna have more of those self negative talk thoughts of I'm not good enough. My baby deserves better than me. 

Things of that nature with postpartum anxiety. We're gonna have those intrusive thoughts that come from a place of protection. The original source of it is a good source. It is a source of protection, but then it snowballs very quickly into a worst case scenario. That's catastrophic. So like you said, going over the bridge and we had to make escape plans in our heads of what are we going to do. And so, you know, again, with my oldest daughter of well, if I sleep, when she sleeps, she will die of SIDS, not not maybe but will like there was that inevitable factor to it. So just know when you have those snowballing worst case scenario, thoughts that are catastrophic, they're devastating. They are tragic. That is postpartum anxiety. 

Yeah, that is postpartum anxiety. When you find yourself again, not able to sleep because you feel like something inevitable is going to be happening to someone else who trust and love and take care of your child because you're so anxious that something will go wrong. That's a red flag. I felt like it was only me that could probably care for will only me who could keep him safe? Only me that can ensure he slept in eight. 

That was a problem. And I had the best. So that, I mean, but again, people are like, oh, you know, you're a new mom, you went through a lot with the bird, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, ok, now I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, I should have got help so much sooner. If I would have just known that this was even a thing. No one told me about post party anxiety. Like I'm a type one. 

Yeah, you're a type one I am or type a as well. Type a means type anxiety is what a lot of control we do. Um And I think, and I think there's actually just studies to this as well. I'm not, I can't quote any else on my head right now. But I think those if we're like that before we become moms, it gets worse or intense. If we don't do actions to recognize it and help our, help us through it, correct? And that's what happened. So if you are experiencing any of these things, the intrusive thoughts, the tracking of things, the inability to sleep for fear of bad things happening. Like I said, that hypervigilance that's staying on guard, reach out for help. 

That is postpartum anxiety 1000% and also anxiety can present physically. So you might be experiencing heart palpitations. You could be experiencing a shortness of breath, you could be getting kind of hot flashes, things of that nature, you could also have gastric distress. So you know, your stomach may be churning all the time. You may have an appetite, but when you eat, you either throw up or it goes right through you. Things of that nature, those are signs of anxiety, not saying that there couldn't be a medical component, there could be. But if it's so new onset, chances are it's going to be anxiety. Um So with that, reach out to your provider, whether it was a midwife, whether it was a dola, whether it was your O B, reach out to them if you are open to a medication. 

Now, I know with breastfeeding options are limited, but there are options that have been heavily researched heavily. I would also encourage you get on with the therapist, get in with your therapist if you already have one again, virtual thing like in this day and age of COVID. If someone doesn't have virtual, I don't know how to help you. Like come on virtual is the key and two, it's like, and you may and I this is a risk factor which will hit those in a second too. But the if you are in pregnancy right now you're pregnant and you're overwhelmed by anxiety. 

That is we covered it pre previously, that is prenatal anxiety. Ok? And so if you're experiencing that in pregnancy, the odds are you will experience that in postpartum. So that is when if you're pregnant and you're starting to say I'm now like really having anxiety over, you know, is my baby. Ok? What I'm eating, what I'm doing whatever it is or fear like, so the difference between worry and anxiety is worry, I think can be like rationalized and it doesn't take over anxiety will take over your life, all consuming and intensity. So if you're having that during pregnancy, please reach out to your provider, get a therapy. And so again, this is research and proven therapy is an amazing treatment for anxiety and depression. Absolutely. So and here's something and we've talked about it in other episodes when you experience those intrusive thoughts, try to take your deep breath and implement a grounding thought. So to come back to the car on the bridge example, because I think that's a really good example to work with, you know, you're going over the bridge and all of a sudden you think, oh my God, what if we go over the bridge? What am I gonna do? 

OK, take your deep breath first off and then say, ok, I'm having that thought because I love my family and I don't want that to happen. However, that has not happened, there's not an accident on this bridge. Currently, there's not a bad driver around me right now. I can slow down if I need to slow down. I am a good driver. I am in control of this car. So use your facts. 

Bring yourself back to the present moment. Always, always, always bring yourself back to the present moment. Same thing if you think, oh, I'm carrying my baby down the stairs. Oh my God. What if we fall and they get hurt? And what if they end up in the hospital and da da, da, da da, all of those kinds of things? Deep breath. Ok, I'm having those thoughts because I'm really scared that something could harm my baby. 

All moms have that, that's protective. So, but where are you at now? Have you fallen down the stairs with your baby? Have you dropped your baby? No. So if that's the case, say, ok, those things have not happened, what is within my control to prevent that from happening? So maybe that means we get a closer grip on the baby. 

Maybe that means we take multiple trips up and down the stairs to get things, you know, where they need to go. Maybe I need to sit down and scoot down the stairs, whatever you need to do in that moment. And, and that thought is a thought and now even knowing what an intrusive thought is that gives you power. Absolutely. Because you can name it to tame it. And so when this happens to you, if it happens to you, you know what to do, you ground yourself. Like Whitney said, you remind yourself where you're at. And then when you're looking past, say that I had an intrusive thought. 

There's a study, 80 to 90% of moms have an intrusive thought at some point, I'm sure. OK. And then it's like with your post anxiety, you're gonna have more frequent intrusive thoughts and those intrusive thoughts can also be of you harming the child. And those are really disturbing to say out loud to someone, but that does not mean that you are going to harm that child. And it would just be like, you know, oh my gosh, what if I drop this child or you know, what if the knife somehow I'm chopping or whatever? Like, and you sound, and you feel like why would I ever in my mind have that? 

And, you know, I know research says there's even some sexual, um harm thoughts that parents can kind of just like, it flashes through their mind super disturbing when you experience that and it freaks them out. I mean, who wouldn't? Right? Like you're just like, oh my gosh, like how uh-huh and those do not mean you're going to, and research has actually shown you're not going to act upon that, especially because if it freaks you out, you're not going to act on that. So that is something that no one, no one says. But you know, we say good moms have scary thoughts. That's right. So we, we know that anxiety is physically can be presented. 

We've talked about that. We've talked about how intrusive thoughts kind of can reign in this area. And the risk factor is similar to most things is if you've had a family history or personal history of anxiety or mental illness, if you're experiencing anxiety during pregnancy, yes. Um You know, we go back to loss, we go back to um miscarriages, we go back to if it's nick you, if traumatic births, lack of support, lack of financial medical stuff. So all these things, if these are occurring in your life, that is something that you need to just be more aware. We're not saying you're going to have postpartum anxiety. But what we're saying is that be more on your radar the cause. Not really sure. Right? Like I think that's kind of, I don't think there's one specific cause I've heard that there is, you know, we go back to the hormones, estrogen withdrawal can help exacerbate that anxiety level. And you got to remember we're being pumped with it and then it goes away and then we crash. So that's the whole thing there in itself is that we do. And I guess that that's super irritating to me too. 

It's just like I always want to know why and it's mental health, there's not always a concrete answer. Well, if we know the, why then we can fix, fix it and prevent it and I can protect myself and be vulnerable. And here's the thing, there is not one specific why when it comes to mental illness, but especially postpartum and just maternal mental illness, there's several factors. But if we can look at this list of risk factors and we say, ok, I'm checking off 2345 of these, I know that I'm at a higher risk. I'm educated on what to look out for my family and friends know exactly. 

Just because we experience something doesn't mean it's a life sentence. No. Uh like I mentioned in a different episode, a diagnosis is not a character flaw. No. And just because this is what's happening and let's let's not forget that this is a huge major life adjustment. Ok? A child is, your life is never going to be the same. And it's not like, hey, you know, I can go back to who I was before. No, you're not. So that also feels really scary because it's like is this what it's always going to be? 

No, there is help, you will get better. And the coping is something that really helped me is finding a safe person to talk to about it. Therapy, therapy is a proven way for anxiety. So we talked to safe space, voice journaling surrounding meditation, positive affirmations, right? Having and asking for help and support baby steps and being proactive. 

Again, if we have these things implemented in pregnancy, they're going to be there for postpartum. We're better equipped to tackle it when it comes. So if you are struggling to get pregnant and you're already having anxiety, get in with a therapy session, I would actually think infertility could be a huge risk factor for postpartum anxiety because so much of that is out of your control anyway. So I would just, I would go out on a limb and say infertility and having to go through those treatments 100%. Which ironically, now that I'm saying that out loud, because auditory processing here, I had to go through infertility to get pregnant with my oldest and I definitely had postpartum anxiety with her. I did not have to do infertility to get pregnant with my second and I did not have near the postpartum anxiety with her. I believe that. So just saying, I think there's a little correlation there and I think too, just knowing it's very common and a lot of moms are experiencing that that should give you just some comfort that you're not alone. Absolutely. Even though it can feel isolating, that's kind of what previa is here for and to kind of have a community where, you know, you're not alone and it's judgment free zone. Uh We do not judge and that's, and that's something important with like I am Whitney is of course one of, she's our lead previa mental health therapist. But all our therapists are super great that like once you're in therapy and I could come to you and say, I think I'm depressed or whatever and we were through it and I start being open and honest with you about my thoughts. 

You know what these thoughts are, you know, their anxiety, then they're just screams. There are certain treatments that you can all bring in to really serve me best. It's just we got to get to that door to you to start that relationship and let you do what you're trained for. Absolutely. So you, it's, it's honestly those first steps in forming that relationship with your therapist and then evolve and grow. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, I mean, I would have Whitney as my therapist all the time if I could. 

But, you know, that's a little bit of a too close thing. I was about to say that's a conflict of interest. But Whitney is, I like, I like having my license. I don't want the board to take it. No. Well, we, we'll continue our conversation next week is going to be post parm O CD and we're here again in the month of May just to give education, share this um follow us on Instagram, send us questions DMS. We love that and just know you're not alone. We're always here for you. That's right. Till next time.