Previa Alliance Podcast

What is Postpartum OCD?

May 15, 2023 Previa Alliance Team Season 1 Episode 53
Previa Alliance Podcast
What is Postpartum OCD?
Show Notes Transcript

The third topic we discuss during Maternal Mental health month is postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD. This disorder includes obsessing about the baby's safety as well as having a compulsive need to double-check safeguards or seek reassurance about the baby's health and safety.

Sarah and Whitney break down what postpartum OCD is, risk factors, real life examples, and treatment options. Please help us to continue to fight for moms mental health by downloading and sharing!

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Hi guys. Welcome back to Pre Alliance. It is Sarah and Whitney. We are in the month of May. You guys are probably like, yes, I know, I'm listening for a week. I know what month it is. 

Sarah on the up and up. So this week I don't feel like many people hit on it, talk about it. But guess what? We're going to what is postpartum O CD? OK. So postpartum O CD is not necessarily what people think of O CD being. So here's my little therapy. So from here. So O CD does not mean that you want things organized and I think I have and I'm gonna be honest, I had that like conception of it. Yeah. Well, and some people can be very compulsive of. 

I have to have things at an angle or I have to do this and this and this. Yeah, that can be a little obsessive, that can be very type A but O CD is when you have obsessive thoughts about something and you have to do a compulsion to complete that obsessive thought to try and make it go away. Now that being said, germophobe can absolutely fall into that category because I've worked with clients before where they felt like they had to Clorox the handle to the fridge before they opened it. Otherwise they were going to contaminate the food they ate. So let's just say they Clorox the fridge handle a couple of times, open it up, they get the milk out, put the milk on the counter, the door closes because that happens. Right. They have to rec Clorox that handle to get something else out. Ok? So it is you having these thoughts, you have to do an action to make the thought go away. Ok? So again, you know, you can have that germophobe thing where you feel like you have to wipe something down. 

Otherwise there's a contamination issue and it's inevitable. Again, I will say the family foundation of O CD is anxiety. So when it, when you're listening to this and you feel like wait a second, that sounds like the anxiety episode too. They do intertwine. I will be completely honest about that. So you have people that have that contamination fear germophobe. So we have the obsessive Lysol Cloroxing of the fridge handle, the doorknob handle. And I'm not saying like when you of sickness in your household and you're constantly disinfecting day to day. 

This is day to day. This is exact what I said. Like you get the milk out of the fridge, the door closes. Oh, I have to get my cheese out of the fridge, get the cheese out of the fridge, it closes and I'm Cloroxing between every single opening because I'm worried I'm going to contaminate my food. Ok. So we have those thoughts, um which I do think 100% COVID exacerbated these things. 

Oh yeah, throwing that out there as well. Um So the other part of O CD can be what you mentioned in the anxiety episode of tracking things. So, you know, if you've got the app on there, which I used it too, it was super helpful for me to stay kind of on top of the girl's things like feedings and naps and all the things. But if I'm looking at it, I'm like, they only took 4.5 ounces instead of five ounces, they're gonna die. They're going to be malnourished and it's like you want to shove that last little half ounce in your baby and it's like maybe their stomach is full and they're OK and see that with me. Yeah. So when we have that obsession of having to track things and have to complete it, that's a problem. 

Now, it can be one of those, you know, if your baby has a tongue or a lip tie and you're like, they're just not taking much. So if they only took two ounces instead of five, it's like, whoa, that's not close enough to a full feeding. We're 4.5 out of five, that's pretty close. Pretty close. You can think about like, what we do on just like a normal meal. Exactly. And, you know, some days I'm hungrier than others. 

Same with our kids. But when we also look at naps and sleep and we are down to the minute of you did not get your full 12 hours. You were supposed to get 12 hours. Why didn't you, why did you get 11 45? You know, we obsess over very small amounts, right? 

Instead of looking at the big picture of things and it's obsessive and part of O CD too when we feel like we can't complete something, we feel like a failure and then we spiral. Yes. And then we spiral so be very aware that sometimes your O CD thoughts could actually go down the path of depression too when you start to spiral. So it can be tricky to treat this. 

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not going to sugar coat it, but I don't want to scare at the same time. Let me say that because it is treatable, but we need to be aware of. Ok. Well, what is an O CD thought? And now I, I spiraling and now am I experiencing depression with the O CD? Right? And I think, and we said this before, a lot of things you can have like we go back to your kick and have a strep throat ear infection and my gosh, he can have like a cut on his leg at the same time, we got to treat it all. Exactly. We got multiple things going on. And so that's, and that's again why we stress like to get in with a therapist who gets to know you and gets to really break down what's all involved because we're complex things and we are, this is not just black and white, it's not, it is so not. 

Um, and it's funny you say that because I actually had a client not postpartum, but they were like, you know, I think I struggle with O CDT and I was like, well, tell me about that. So we were talking about it. And so it's one of those, we're gonna keep digging on it because I'm not super quick to just slap a diagnosis on somebody. But it was one of those, I'm like, it could be O CD or it could also be severe. A DH D and I'm like, we just need to keep digging on it. And so printed out some articles we're gonna work on it together. So have those open conversations with your therapist because that's what we're here for. But an example from one of my friends after her first daughter was born, she had to take a shower after each breastfeeding session. 

Had to had to now mind you, she was a great producer like she enjoyed breastfeeding like it was a good thing for her. But she always said that she felt so dirty and had to take a shower after each breast feeding session. So she had that obsessive thought of, I'm dirty. I'm dirty, I'm dirty. She had to complete it. But then to get with an action. Yeah, with an action she had to go take that shower and she was fine until the next session. 

Well, we all know newborns can cluster feed. Like, what do you mean? I, I even know 2030 40. I mean, how do you manage that in the middle of the night? I mean, and so they're in, we already have sleep deprivation is a really key point in the postpartum time frame. 

You throw in those obsessive thoughts of, I'm dirty. I've got to take a shower and you have to complete that compulsion. So you're taking time to shower and I didn't sleep at all. Exactly. So, what do you think? Made it worse? Sleep deprivation? Right. Because the thing is, it probably was not a quick rinse off. 

No, because she probably had a really, she probably had a way. Exactly. And that's another key point of O CD are rituals. And when I say a ritual, I'm talking about, you have to do something a certain way or it's not. Right. And you know what I feel called out because Bill will tell me all the time. You ritualize things. Sarah. Hm. And I'm always just like, that's not true. And then I'm like, oh my God. I do sometimes. Well and again, no, I can let it go if it's not like that. Um But see, with O CD and so that gives me some comfort, but I couldn't let it go and post part up. And so you, you guys are just like, wow, Sarah, we're finding out way more than we ever wanted about you. Um But all that to share is that I am decently out of the immediate postpartum period and there's still things that I am working through at. 

Um, so open an honest book here for better or worse, but at least a preview, you know, we call it like it is, we're honest, we do. And I think again, people don't want to share this because it's shameful. Yeah, they're scared and O CD can also be a very scary place to be because it can be very confusing. 

You don't know why your brain is having all of these thoughts. You don't know why you have to complete these compulsions and obsessive thoughts. So you're scared because you don't understand what's happening and you want it to stop, but you can't make it stop on your own. And how do you explain that? Because I'm sure at some point her, her husband and her partner was like, why are you getting into the shower every single time or? 

Well, and it was one of those I know he worked outside of the home, a good amount like with travel and stuff for work. So I don't know that he knew the full extent because he might have just thought, you know, let's be honest because like, he might have just been like, oh, you, you feed the baby. Sometimes the baby had, my boys both have reflux, they threw it up on me and you know, you had to get in the shower. So he may have been like, ok, it's that but, but in her head it was no, no, I'm, I'm dirty, I'm dirty, I'm dirty and, and I haven't asked her this. So this part of speculation is I wonder if she felt like she had to be clean for the next feeding. And because I think that's like, again, a contamination back to the danger towards the baby that we're trying to prevent in a protection mechanism for us or the child. And I know O CD can occur during pregnancy as well. 

So, you know, and people will talk about it and I think people are like, oh, you're just trying to be extra cautious for the baby or whatever and they may dismiss those. But when it's overtaking your functioning of your life and like a task that is when it's like alarming bells of like, let's look into this. Let's seek help for this because you know, they say 3 to 5% of women experience this. But I think it's more like everything again because we go back to shame and just like, dismissive of our feelings and like, we don't know who to ask for help. Um, because I think it's also to me what I think I ritualize saying it's for control. So I think you have to learn how to manage the symptoms. Agreed. Absolutely. Because there's not going to be a medication for O CD. 

I will say if you do get a medication, it's going to be more anxiety based because it's anxiety is kind of like this umbrella. And then here's your O CD, which I feel like O CD has more pretty heavy intrusive thoughts. It does because again, we have that inevitable of if I don't do this, this will happen. So like my friend, she felt like she had to take a shower in order to be clean for the next feeding because what if I'm dirty and I make her sick? Yeah. And that's like, how could you have possibly have gotten that dirty in between feedings? 

Especially when it's your first child. You know what I mean? It's not like you're out in the backyard, rolling around in the mud. No, no. And then so people are like, OK, great. You know what this is? It sounds super pleasant. Um What are some possible risk factors? And again, history of O CD, let's go back to, let's learn about what our family's mental health is. 

I know people don't like talking about it in older generations, but like we got to know what's, what's coming at us and it's even hard for people who don't know their family. So family history, genetics, just like you would want to know if there's a family history of heart disease. The same thing for mental health. Let's be aware. So, family history is a big thing. Traumatic delivery. I cannot say that one. 

Loud enough traumatic deliveries play a huge role in O CD being a challenge because again, lack of control, a lot of things going down, baby going to Nick, you is a big one. If you yourself have a history of mental illness, whether that be anxiety, depression, if you already had O CD prior to pregnancy, obviously, that's probably going to be a factor going on. I would say if you are, if you don't have much of a support system, if your family lives states away. If you don't have a lot of friends in the area, that's a big thing. COVID. Oh my gosh, you know, 2020 2021 moms, well, am my oldest. 

She's a January baby. So, so when you look at cold flu R S V season mamas, they, they, I would think that they could be a higher risk because those are threats to our babies. That's and that's legit. It is a risk to our babies. So I want to validate that concern for our mamas. Um I would think too that, you know, maybe if you don't have like a cleanest place or like our house, our house is an older house. Therefore an older neighborhood. 

We didn't know when we bought the house that there was a roach problem. Ok. All of our neighbors struggle with roaches because there's old trees in the neighborhood because it's a seventies neighborhood and, and guess what? They live in the trees. And so we've had to guess I've burn it down all the trees which I, I've threatened to burn down the house and I'm gonna pretend like I had it. Um, but I had to get pest control on board. And now after, let's see, my youngest is almost 2.5. So about 2.5 years of pest control being on board. 

We are, we, it is finally under control, but it took a good six months for me to feel like, oh, this is actually better and it's a lot because let me tell you, like I had seen some of them and it always happens in August to September. She's an August baby. So I would see them around the kitchen, which is right to our back door. So I always thought, ok, well, they're coming in to get, get the crumbs, blah, blah, blah, all that kind of stuff. Not kidding. One time in, you know, middle of the night fed my daughter's second floor, front of the house. So diagonally opposite from our kitchen and backyard, a little roach just crawled his happy little honey across her floor. 

I lost it at about 2 30 in the morning. Oh. And he crawled up under her dresser and I, you think I'm lying there? I turned the flashlight on, on my phone and I'm trying to find him and I cannot find him. I stayed up the rest of the night because I thought, what if that roach gets on my child? 

I would have done the same thing. Ok. So I, I would have had out there, oh, I was on my flashlight watching out for him. I never did find him. He would have. Bill would not still be sleeping if that thing would have been. And it was because she was an inborn. So there were no shoes in her room. So it's not like I could go get it in the, you know, she didn't wear shoes and it was two in the morning. Why would I have shoes on it? Like you're carrying? Like it was something to exactly. I had nothing. I had no ammunition whatsoever. So I, and I texted Michael at two o'clock. 

I'm like there's a roach in her room. We're doing something about it today. As soon as somebody opens up, I'm calling, we're getting them out here and I sure did. Um, because moms would get things done. I'll say that. So that's probably the closest I've come to experiencing an O CD thing was there was that roach in my daughter's room and I stayed up all night because if I didn't, how was I going to protect her from the roach getting on her? 

I mean, I, I think that's reasonable. So, I mean, yeah, we can say that I have a good, logical reason for it. But, but let's also keep in mind that was it a little obsessive that I stayed up the whole night? Yeah. But a little, yes. I, and did that sleep deprivation? Help me? No, the sleep deprivation made you not be able to rationalize anything. Correct. So that's where, you know, do I think that I had postpartum O CD? Probably not. Did I have a little, a little flavor of it? Right. Then I sure did. And I think you can have flavors of a mixture of these topics like we said before. And that's the whole point of therapy is you can, if you had an established relationship and you say, hey, you know, and, and I come in say if I'm you, I'm like, so we had a roach issue and this is what's happening that therapist is gonna know baseline, right? And be like, OK, now we'll, we'll talk that one in our, we need to explore more if we hear. Yeah. So that being said again, if it's maybe not the cleanest house, but that was your option when you were looking for housing. If you deal with bugs, that O CD risk factor through the roof I mean, even I think just huge unmet expectations and doubts that cause like this negative, am I good enough? And so then we try to protect our child more from that danger leads us down this road. And that's a good point you brought up there. Is that protection? And I do think that a lot of our O CD thoughts can be rooted in a form of protection again, like intrusive thoughts. Yes. So with O CD, you probably are going to be experiencing those intrusive thoughts. 

Again, the inevitable of if I do not complete this obsessive thought with this compulsion, something bad is gonna happen. But again, you have to complete it. And let's say this since, you know, I was doing our research for the article because I'm not a maternal mental health therapist like Whitney. So I tried to bring more of my life experiences to this. So I was doing some poles. 

I was doing some research and it was like here are some of the common compulsions experienced by those who have post O CD, getting rid of sharp objects such as knives or scissors because you are afraid with this intrusive thought that those objects will be used to harm your, your child by yourself or someone else, not feeding the baby out of fear of poisoning them, not changing diapers, out of fear of sexually abusing the baby, not consuming certain foods or some medications out of fear of harming the baby that I feel like we can give some leeway. Yeah, deliberately avoiding watching or read the news when it involves child abuse. So right here I don't do that because mm obsessively checking the baby while they sleep, asking family members for reassurance that the baby has not been harmed or abused, giving over the day's events mentally to ensure that nothing bad has happened to the beat. Oh yeah, that one is absolutely ob CD. And here's the thing I would say that that comes from you don't have a reason. Does that make sense? So like if your baby goes to daycare or family member or what have you and they come back with marks on them. 

See you have a good reason, a factual reason to dig, but we have a reason to do that. This is all these are like there is not like your kid has been physically injured or harmed. Um There is not someone threatening your child or you, this is not like you live in a situation where violence or abuse is expected or on the day to day, this is you in your mind having these unwanted thoughts that it sounds bad to say there's no validity to it, but to you, it sounds like a tangible reason, right? And so if these, what we just talk through is you're going, that's me and like, I'm sorry, but it's like I understand when they're like, I don't want to admit I have to hide all the knives, right? Like that saying that. But here, hopefully someone, if they're listening, they're hearing that they're like, ok, it sounds like I'm probably suffering from O C O CD. And this is not, it does not define who they are. 

There is help get in with therapy. Talk to your O B about medication if it's, and let's figure out what all is involved in this scenario. But now you know what it is. Now there is power to a name, name to tame it. This is temporary. This is not your life, this is not who you are. No. And again, a diagnosis is not a character flaw what's in on that? Because that is like my favorite statement. You ever say it's been a theme this week and I like it. All right guys. Till next time. See you.