Surviving the Post-Holiday Crash

Speaker 1: 0:10

Hey guys, welcome back to PreviewLiance Podcast. We first want to say Merry Christmas, that's right. Happy holidays, you guys. You've made it. It's Christmas Day, if you listen to us after you've made it through Christmas.

Speaker 2: 0:25

Go, get yourself a celebratory hot chocolate.

Speaker 1: 0:28

You're in this weird. What is these weeks before New Year's?

Speaker 2: 0:31

It's the limbo where we don't really know what we're doing because Christmas has passed.

Speaker 1: 0:37

The New Year hasn't hit. It's like a let down, because you're just being so robotic, crazy, all the things, the gatherings, the dewy, the sweets, the movies, the Hallmark movies.

Speaker 2: 0:50

We're literally all crashing. Yeah, it's a let down. Crash, it's a let down.

Speaker 1: 0:55

There's actually a post holiday blues, absolutely. If you're starting to feel it, probably not maybe today or Christmas Day, but maybe when you're putting away all the new stuff.

Speaker 2: 1:05

The next three or four days to a week it's going to hit. That's normal because we have so much buildup and anticipation and going and doing for Christmas. Then Christmas happens and then it's over.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Yeah, you're just like. And the buildup honestly, we said this before it starts in October after.

Speaker 2: 1:22

Halloween, oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:23

People are ready. They are and it's wild to me. It's like this big Christmas crash. You're like what? And your kids are always like.

Speaker 2: 1:32

your kids are not back in school yet, yep, they're bored somehow with all these new gadgets. Somehow, yeah, I don't understand.

Speaker 1: 1:39

You're maybe, since you're overloaded with the new stuff, trying to figure it out like the clutter. Yeah, you know you may saw a family in town that they should have left last week. You know all the things could be happening and that's okay. So just kind of know if this time is filling let down, that's normal.

Speaker 2: 1:57

It's normal, it's a Christmas crash.

Speaker 1: 1:58

It's research, so give yourself grace that and I would say getting back to normalcy is what you could do. Structure Get that structure back for you and your kids. I know it's covered with school, comes back, but, like If you're, we both love to work out with you. Rods, I do. I do more non-ready activities and. Would be important for us to do that To get back 10 minutes to get our back, our diets back in order.

Speaker 1: 2:29

If it's like your meditation, if it's your voice journaling, if it's whatever that makes you feel yes, whatever brings you normalcy. Get back into it, but you're not alone in that. But we wanted today to come to you with a message to our listeners and to our preview lights. Moms, in case no one told you, we're here to tell you yes and the first one is you're doing great you are, so sometimes you don't hear it. You don't hear it.

Speaker 2: 2:56

You don't feel it, you don't tell yourself it is this miss but you're doing great and we are.

Speaker 1: 3:01

We see how hard you are Working how hard it is.

Speaker 2: 3:06

I see how you listen to. Your childhood told you their favorite toy in August.

Speaker 1: 3:10

Yeah, and you got it. I mean we see you getting up To make sure that the house is put together, that you made sure that the Christmas lights are off, that you made sure that you guys had milk, that you made sure that there's diapers and wipes.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Yes, like we see you and we know, oil changed in the car in the midst of all that chaos, so that you could drive to the family's house that you mentally determine how to pack for a whole family and bring gifts and matching outfits, all the things, all the things.

Speaker 2: 3:42

You coordinated all the things, well over a thousand things in a month.

Speaker 1: 3:47

And we see how you give your best and you put others first and you sometimes feel like who am I? You don't recognize yourself.

Speaker 2: 3:55

You're wondering if you'll ever be the old you yeah, we see that exactly well and there's always different parts of us inside of us. So old you is still there. They just may feel like they have gotten kind of looked over, yeah, and kind of hushed for a little bit, but you are still there and you know, we see how you put others ahead of yourself and and it's possibly been a really hard year with the hits that kept coming yeah that you felt like you just couldn't get your head above water some days.

Speaker 2: 4:27

Or when you did get your head above water, someone handed you something really heavy and you sank back down. We see that. We see how you've persevered. You've been there daily for everybody else and you got things done, even though you didn't know how you were gonna get it done.

Speaker 1: 4:43

We see you when you shove every day, regardless how you feel. You baby cry all the way to work. You cry in the shower for a minute, you pick yourself up and you do the damn thing every single day. That's right. So you know. You may feel like no one else sees it and gets it. We live it. We see it, we see you. We see you and we say your value and again, like this is to you to say we applaud you, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1: 5:11

And like being a, we know it's hard is the hardest job, the most important job, but it's hard. It's hard. It is okay to say it's hard and we also want you to know it's okay to ask for help. Yes, that is not a sign of weakness at all and when we're talking about help, we're talking about Simple help from the sense of I need you to take over laundry. Yeah to the I need help.

Speaker 1: 5:38

Wrapping gifts wrapping gifts to. I needed help. You need to put the toddler down. I'll put the baby down. Yeah, to even greater help of. I Need help with my mental health. Right, the word help is a sign of strength and boundaries. So to know whatever help looks like to you, we encourage you in this transition time in the new year To look at that as help is a step forward. It's the hardest thing to ask in the first, but it gets easier.

Speaker 1: 6:07

Yeah so know that and hold that. It's okay not to love every moment.

Speaker 2: 6:13

That's unrealistic. Don't put that pressure on yourself.

Speaker 1: 6:18

No, there's a study actually that showed that being at home all day with young children was like 98% more stressful than like professional Athlete. Stress that they do in marathons, like it is, like the highest level of stress, like being at home is literally a bomb With her kids and like keeping them alive.

Speaker 1: 6:39

They're usually served. You're trying to keep your mind together. That is hard and there's gonna be moments when your kid is losing it. You can't get on the soft-cride. You're crying yeah, the 15th thing has went wrong for the day. Uh-huh, yeah, you'd say it's hard.

Speaker 2: 6:59

Oh yeah, call a spade a spade, validate what you're feeling. It's not wrong for you to validate how you're feeling. No, you know, if my kid is in the floor losing it because I wouldn't give her a popsicle for breakfast, and I'm over there thinking, but do you not see all these other things that I've done to go well for you? Yeah, and if I have other stuff going on, and then the weight of Balancing work and all these different things and like my tire is flat and it's like I just can't get my breath, I'm allowed to say you know what? This is hard and this is stressful and I'm overwhelmed.

Speaker 2: 7:33

Yeah, I that that does not make me a bad person. That doesn't say that I'm weak. It's not a character flaw. It shows that I'm calling something for what it is. It's authentic.

Speaker 1: 7:44

It's okay to find yourself in a new chapter. It's that doesn't mean to new people, yeah that's okay, that's fine.

Speaker 2: 7:51

We all change and evolve.

Speaker 1: 7:53

People come into your life for a reason. Season it's a tough lifetime right. Yeah, and that's okay, and I think you may be going into this new year and there may have been some friendships or family members that you're not carrying with you and that's okay and that's okay and that's hurtful and that could be a loss. Yeah, or that can be your choosing or their choosing. I just know it's a grief and it's it's okay, it happens. Yeah, not just you and motherhood can change friendships.

Speaker 1: 8:24

Yeah, it can change families. It can change, honestly, what you thought yourself to be yep and all that's okay. You know, some days with your kids are gonna feel extra hard, yeah, yeah and that's okay. And, like again, what we've talked about in previous episodes is Life events. Do not stop just because we have kids?

Speaker 2: 8:49

Nope, they tend to keep on coming, and sometimes extra.

Speaker 1: 8:52

So it like grieving why being a mom, yeah working try to be the deadline. Being a mom Navigating everything, it doesn't stop. So if that feels hard and some days are extra hard, that's to be okay. Yeah, and then our basis, our core, is moms to know that Pregnancy, postpartum, you're most vulnerable for mental health conditions, perinatal mood, anxiety disorders. One in three is a now post COVID will experience it. So if you are hearing this and you're just like you know what I do, think I'm not okay. I think I'm depressed.

Speaker 2: 9:24

I think I'm building anxiety.

Speaker 1: 9:26

I think something's up. I'm not enjoying the things I used to. I can't shake this feeling that something's always wrong.

Speaker 2: 9:34

My thoughts.

Speaker 1: 9:36

We want to challenge you and to encourage you to seek help. That could be talking to your OB that could be reaching out to find a therapist. Post-partum support international is a great starting point to find a therapist that specializes in maternal mental health.

Speaker 2: 9:55

You are worth getting help for if you want it and need it, and you are not Just because so I have post-partum pressure.

Speaker 1: 10:01

That's not who I am.

Speaker 2: 10:02

No.

Speaker 1: 10:03

It's not a character flaw, it is not something I caused, it is not something I did and it does not define me and it gets better and it will get better. So if that's you and you're thinking I don't think it's going to get better, hey, get there Exactly. You will have a lie at the tunnel. Yes, and it will get better.

Speaker 2: 10:21

This too shall pass and won't last forever.

Speaker 1: 10:24

No, but this episode we wanted to keep short, just uplifting and encouraging, to let you know you've made it through a really stressful holiday season. You're in this transitional post-holiday blues. Yes, we all self-reflect a new year.

Speaker 2: 10:41

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1: 10:41

I mean you think you have to be like new you. You're going to Jadaway first, is going to come with me. We're going to let go of our Taipei people pleasing things two seconds Right Like you get these facades.

Speaker 2: 10:54

I'm going to go ahead and tell you that's probably not going to happen, you know.

Speaker 1: 10:56

it's just like you got to remove those expectations.

Speaker 2: 10:59

Let's have some realistic expectations, but maybe I get better at delegating tests and have that goal.

Speaker 1: 11:05

So if you're like, okay, I want to set goals, yeah, set those goals. Yes, just like the gym, it's going to be really busy the month of January.

Speaker 2: 11:13

Oh yes, mm-hmm, those first two weeks. Those New Year's resolution folks are there, and I'm not against that, but something that I have said before with New Year's resolutions, try to avoid saying I need to get rid of X, y and Z, unless it's something like you want to quit smoking, you want to decrease your alcohol consumption, things like that. Think about adding positives to your life. Start the new year with more positive language, as opposed to negative language of I'm going to lose all this weight. Well, that already kind of tells your brain oh, there's something wrong with me because we have negative language. Say I'm going to incorporate exercises I like and enjoy.

Speaker 1: 11:54

So add, mm-hmm, it always feels better to add than to point out the negative about ourselves. Correct, but we really want you to hear this message we see you, mm-hmm, you're killing it, you've got this. You've got this, Even though you don't always feel like it you do, you have it, yep, and you get up every day and just know there around the world there is bombs.

Speaker 2: 12:17

Yes.

Speaker 1: 12:18

You feel it like you get it up in the middle of the night, get up when it's time to wake up. Yep Doing the thing. And I spoke to this one mom and she has older kids. Now they're the teenagers. And she's like you know, no one ever told me it gets really great. You know, everybody says just wait.

Speaker 2: 12:35

But she's like it gets really great, oh it does.

Speaker 1: 12:38

And I think you guys need to hear that too.

Speaker 2: 12:40

Like it gets really good it does. I feel like I'm there with my six-year-old it gets really good.

Speaker 1: 12:45

And the hard of making sure a little person doesn't kill themselves every day, and you know managing your emotions. With their emotions it gets better.

Speaker 2: 12:56

It does, absolutely it does.

Speaker 1: 12:58

So I think that's important, because sometimes we always hear that just wait. I hate that, just wait till they this, and it's hard. No, it gets better. It does get better, absolutely. So, like everything, we are here, we're here with you in the new year, so we're going to come some more great topics.

Speaker 1: 13:14

That's right I know you want us to talk about, but I get very Christmas, happy New Year's from Sarah Whitney. That's right. I'm here at Previa Until next time. See ya, I'll be back on dealing with your own challenges as moms. You can also browse our podcast library and listen to previous episodes at any time. Please know you're not alone on this journey. We're here to help.