Post-Holiday Blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder

Speaker 1 0:01

Hey guys , welcome back to Preview Alliance podcast . This is Sarah and we are in our holiday season . This season , whitney and I decided to do replay episodes because these are some of our most listened to episodes and so vital to equip and empower you guys through the stressful holiday season . So , no matter where you are at in life , these episodes are made for you , to help guide you , to support you and know you're not alone . So hang in there , we're right there with you . Stay tuned . Hey guys , welcome back to Preview Alliance podcast . It's Sarah and Whitney . Okay , so holidays , they're done .

Speaker 2 0:47

Yay , I can breathe now . Right , we're in 2023 . Praise Jesus , we're here , Adios 22 . I'm telling you , adios , Don't want that anymore . But let me tell you something you feeling a little blue , yeah , kind of down . What is this ? So you feeling a little blue , yeah , kind of down . What is this . So there's a lot of factors that come into this .

Speaker 1 1:08

Because I'm like wait , I'm supposed to be happy , I'm done with all that .

Speaker 2 1:12

So think of it almost like an adrenaline crash in a sense . Oh yeah , we're crashing , yeah . So think about it like we are really built up from like September's preparing for Halloween and then Thanksgiving and all the things . So around mid-September we really start amping up for the holidays .

Speaker 1 1:32

Fall is upon us , that's right .

Speaker 2 1:34

So you have really three months of this excitement , this amping up of do this , do that . Now we have all these fun activities to do , and then December 26th hits , or , you know , january 1st hits and we're like okay , well , it's done . Yeah , and it almost feels like a letdown , even if you had a positive holiday . Yeah , you know what I mean ? Yeah , and it's because we have this built-up excitement and then boom , it's over , literally after blues crash .

Speaker 1 2:05

Yeah , it's like it's a crash holiday , crash it is um .

Speaker 2 2:09

So I know you know there can be some , like you know , serotonin , dopamine involved , but really I think it's like an expectations , yeah , crash , kind of thing , and then really we are go , go , go , go go adrenaline , yes , and so we really go , go go . I'm gonna say probably about like mid october ish through december . Yeah , that's a lot . So we are constantly go , go , go , go go . Class parties , holidays , getting costumes , trick-or-treating , going to the pumpkin patch right , thanksgiving , the food prep for thanksgiving , gift buying for christmas , christmas parties , going to see santa the sugar the alcohol , the gifts , I mean , it's constant constant , constant , and then we have a halt it just stops , it does , and we don't really have a gradual calm down no

Speaker 1 2:58

if that makes any sense and then your kids are out of school for still a little bit like that yes , and so some cabin fever .

Speaker 2 3:04

yeah , a little bit , and you're week . Yes , and so some cabin fever .

Speaker 1 3:06

Yeah , a little bit , and you're just like what am I going to do now ?

Speaker 2 3:08

Yeah , it is that we're almost lost so what do we do ?

Speaker 1 3:14

Asking us like I'm like Whitney , what do I do ?

Speaker 2 3:16

Yeah , so with that realized it's probably just going to happen and it's not a bad thing or it's unpleasant .

Speaker 1 3:23

Right .

Speaker 2 3:23

It is an unpleasant feeling , but it is not a bad feeling , it is not a wrong feeling . So know that you can expect to feel that crash . So just know it's coming . Yeah , kind of know that it's coming , and I would say almost .

Speaker 1 3:36

Name it to tame it .

Speaker 2 3:37

Yes , name it to tame it , but almost embrace that a little bit and , if you're able , if you have that time off of work or , you know , during nights and weekends , say , okay , maybe we don't need to go full speed , maybe we don't need to keep just doing all the things all the time . Just have some rest , have some rest , absolutely . Have some rest . We're probably we're all exhausted . Oh , absolutely , all , absolutely .

Speaker 1 4:03

All the time and it's like the holidays is a marathon .

Speaker 3 4:07

Oh yes , actually it's a sprint .

Speaker 1 4:08

Excuse me , it's a sprint , it's not a marathon . It's a sprint . You don't stop .

Speaker 2 4:12

Yeah , you're sprinting a marathon . Yes , and I would not recommend that . I've never ran a marathon , but that sounds miserable to sprint a marathon . I'm not going to sprint that front , that no .

Speaker 1 4:20

But that's what we do , and I think our kids have a hard time too , because it's like , okay , where's the class parties , where's the presents ?

Speaker 3 4:28

yeah , where's the pretty ?

Speaker 1 4:29

lights . Where's the candy ?

Speaker 3 4:32

yeah , where's the things ? Where's all the ?

Speaker 1 4:34

things . Where's the fun movies ? Where's the fun crafts ? Where's ?

Speaker 2 4:38

that , and that's the thing too , is they have that same kind of crash or that halt after go go , go , go , go , yeah , and again , there's not a taper to it no there's not it's like that's really hard you're not supposed to just stop them , because you have a rebound exactly , and that's what we're doing to us emotionally .

Speaker 1 4:55

Yeah so okay , so we know what it is uh-huh and I think , what else ?

Speaker 2 5:01

so be prepared going into it that Realize that that crash is probably going to happen . And also let's look at some other factors or you know , aspects of it is that it still gets dark early . That's depressing the low it is , and I was about to say , seasonal affective disorder or seasonal affective depression , is still playing a role .

Speaker 1 5:23

And that is a like research , evidence-based thing .

Speaker 2 5:26

Oh , absolutely . And I mean we are in Alabama right now . You know our temperatures are pretty good , but the forecast is saying , come Christmas we are going to , it's cold , it's going to be cold . So are we going to be outside that much ? Probably not .

Speaker 1 5:38

No , because I mean you're bundled up , you're cold , you're inside , it's miserable to be outside in the cold , your kids are inside more than they used to be .

Speaker 2 5:47

Absolutely , especially here in the South , because it's like , once springtime hits , bye , go outside . Yeah , enjoy yourself

Post-Holiday Recovery and Self-Care

Speaker 2 5:53

.

Speaker 1 5:53

Yeah , and I think what happens post-holidays too is maybe you've had this expectation of how your holidays were supposed to go . Yes , how these magical memories were supposed to be created .

Speaker 2 6:05

And instead your kids on the floor screaming because you didn't give them ice cream for breakfast . Yes , or . I'm not talking about my real life there .

Speaker 1 6:12

Or your family members have said something , or Aunt Brenda . Aunt Brenda popped up , even though you set your boundaries , and she said something very hurtful and you're still reeling from it .

Speaker 3 6:24

Yeah .

Speaker 1 6:25

Or let's back up to you know you're struggling to get pregnant . You've had loss , mm-hmm and any grief at the holidays Grief of something and it's still so fresh because you missed that person or the child or someone wasn't there .

Speaker 2 6:43

And you're still just kind of reeling from it .

Speaker 1 6:45

Or people still talk . They're talking about their holidays and you're comparing yourself .

Speaker 2 6:50

So this is where I would really encourage voice journaling to help you decompress and organize your thoughts and realize with this there's probably not a solution to be found , right , because it's not necessarily something that needs to be fixed because it's not broken Right , it's just honestly , again that kind of adrenaline dump , that halt of go , go , go , go go . We didn't have a taper process in there , and so you need that opportunity to decompress , so I would recommend voice journaling .

Speaker 3 7:21

Yeah .

Speaker 2 7:22

I would also recommend , if you know that you already struggle with kind of that holiday blues or let down , whatever you want to call it , go ahead now . Make your appointment with a therapist now , right , because from my personal experience , like I'm booked until Christmas , right . So keep that in mind . And you know , your therapist might be a parent too , so they have school schedules that they have to work with yeah .

Speaker 2 7:47

Go ahead and make that appointment , you know , for that last week of December , that first week of January . So you have an opportunity just to process it .

Speaker 1 7:54

Well , it's just like anything right . If so , you have an opportunity just to process it . Well , it's just like anything right . If we are looking ahead and we know certain events are going to be really triggering to us or like hard for us because of emotions , memories , situations , people , we would book our therapist . Then Absolutely so , knowing now that we have this crash , just being self-aware and saying , you know what I need to process this with my therapist .

Speaker 2 8:17

It's in preparation . And here's the thing too . Let's just say you don't have that holiday crash that you anticipated . Number one you can still just keep your appointment just to have a therapy appointment on board or you can cancel it . Yeah , so it's not like it's not like a thing , exactly . So I would say go ahead and get on the books now , because it's so much easier to take someone off than it is to try and squeeze them in , just like hair appointments .

Speaker 2 8:38

Go ahead and book out . Oh , absolutely 110% . Do that , yeah , kind of incorporate that into your self-care .

Speaker 1 8:45

What is self-care If you want to do something for yourself . Physically , you know . If it's that scheduling your workouts , if it's your , you know . Cosmetically , if it's your hair it's your eyelashes , it's your nails , it's whatever .

Speaker 2 8:57

It's your therapy . Your mind , body , soul , here For your mental health . Yeah .

Speaker 1 9:01

So if someone was like , okay , what could I be feeling ? They could be feeling anxious , yep , unmotivated , because we've done all the things , yeah , and now you're just like I don't want to do anything and I hate to say it , especially with kids .

Speaker 2 9:16

when you have the influx of toys , it's like where's this all going to go ?

Speaker 1 9:21

You're almost paralyzed . Yes , or I go from like almost the freeze fawn . We've talked about that .

Speaker 2 9:28

I was about to say at that point so many moms doom scroll Facebook and Instagram because it's like I can't focus on the toys . Let me just do this , yes , but then it makes the anxiety and the unmotivation worse . It does .

Speaker 1 9:40

Or you feel obviously stressed .

Speaker 3 9:42

Mm-hmm .

Speaker 1 9:43

Depressed Yep , we talked about that .

Speaker 2 9:46

Can't sleep , and that can be diet induced as well . Yeah , because let's just be real . I mean the holidays we do indulge .

Speaker 1 9:53

I don't think there's any I had peppermint bark for like at 6 am this morning , because it was there I mean , why not ?

Speaker 2 9:59

I love costco's peppermint bar , by the way .

Speaker 1 10:00

I'm just saying like hey , costco , you want to like sponsor us thank you , hey , partner up with us but again , I don't think that's a bad thing .

Speaker 2 10:09

It's inevitably going to be there . Don't restrict yourself in the holidays , because that could be a whole nother can of worms . Sleep schedules get off . They do Because of parties but realize , you know , your caffeine intake may be up . Your sugar intake is going to be up , so that's going to throw things off biologically for us . So , like you mentioned , a sleep schedule or just good sleep hygiene , kind of like our kids . Yes , have a bedtime routine . Try not to scroll your phone right before you go to bed .

Speaker 1 10:35

Do like sometimes take a little bath , if you can .

Speaker 2 10:39

Some deep breathing , even while you're laying in bed .

Speaker 1 10:42

Lavender smells help ?

Speaker 2 10:43

Yes , absolutely so . Do those things that can help you sleep better , because sleep affects our moods . We've talked about sleep deprivation and postpartum and pregnancy .

Speaker 1 10:55

Same happens at any aspect of our life of motherhood oh , absolutely so that's a good tip .

Speaker 2 10:59

And then maybe we've overspent at christmas it happens , it happens to the best of us . And also again , we talked about this before inflation the economy . Things cost two , three times what they used to . So we're also dealing with inflation and just trying to do a Christmas .

Speaker 1 11:16

And then the fact that maybe we are used to like not you know , we had so many people in our lives and we're feeding off of that . Everybody's going back to their normal lives .

Speaker 2 11:27

It's kind of lonely . Super lonely sometimes A little isolating .

Speaker 1 11:31

Especially , I feel like actually sometimes for us , because our family's not close by . Yeah , and we get to see them a lot in that short amount of time so there's some grief there , yeah or you see your friends that you haven't seen , or exactly you get to touch base more so and then again it kind of all withdraws .

Speaker 1 11:48

Not that it's a personal attack , it's life , but it's still hard to process that yeah , because I feel like people kind of put not life on hold during the holidays , but they make more time to be social and emotional . Well , and let's just be real .

Speaker 2 12:04

A lot of you know work environments , offices like that . They're used to people taking off during the holidays . So I feel like there's a little more grace and maybe not as many deadlines and things like that . Now it's , it's like hey , get to it . Well , I was gonna say you know , people take off during the holidays , but after the holidays boom we gotta , we gotta , pick up that slack . So it's like we're allowed to take off during december and the holidays , but up come january 1st , chop , chop , get to it .

Speaker 1 12:34

Yeah , you know , we before kids would schedule a trip in January or February when we lived in Boston , because it was so cold and so isolating . I don't know how you handled that , but it felt so good to take a trip , so that was something I always looked forward to , and it doesn't have to be anything big .

Speaker 2 12:51

Yeah , no , it could be a day trip , so , like us living here in Alabama , we can go to Chattanooga pretty easily .

Speaker 1 12:57

Yeah , the beach is like three , four hours away .

Speaker 2 12:58

Exactly Blue Ridge , Georgia . I hear great things about that Going to . Rock City . We have options , Heck even going to .

Speaker 1 13:05

Huntsville . Do a little something , so plan something . Montgomery has that drive-thru safari . Love that .

Speaker 2 13:13

It's fabulous .

Speaker 1 13:18

It is . You know , there was actually , when I was doing research for this episode , there was a study called the Christmas Effect and where they basically researched that Christmas suicide , depression , psychiatric disorders they decrease during the holidays .

Speaker 3 13:34

Okay , but they rebound and increase immediately after .

Speaker 1 13:40

Absolutely , they do so it's a study thing that like it is the holidays .

Speaker 2 13:45

Put this pause on , like maybe I mean yes , it makes it harder but like I think that's deep down well , and I hate to say it like this too it does it , band-aids it , and you know , you're around so many people you think , okay , well , you know , I'm not gonna have an opportunity for that . And then it's like again when we all go back to our normal lives , well , nobody cares about me , and it really exacerbates that depression , yes , or any other mental illness that's there , and so then we have hopelessness coming in , and hopelessness is very dangerous .

Speaker 3 14:20

Yeah .

Speaker 2 14:21

It can be very dangerous . Um most people that do contemplate suicide feel hopeless . They don't feel like there's anything to live for .

Speaker 1 14:29

And I will say especially postpartum depression . I remember the hopelessness like you said was the part when I hit that it's bad .

Speaker 2 14:38

That's where it all changed when you feel like you don't have anything to live for . And I had it .

Speaker 1 14:45

I had it , but I couldn't . In my depression , I thought it would be better off for everyone , and so I remember it was around the holidays when .

Speaker 3 14:59

I was struggling so bad with Will .

Speaker 1 15:03

And just like we were talking about the facade of the let's do , let's do like covered it All the things ?

Speaker 2 15:09

yeah .

Speaker 1 15:10

And it got really hard after .

Speaker 2 15:12

Oh , yeah , because again we have that crash too .

Speaker 1 15:15

So if you're already struggling postpartum depression , anxiety or even pregnancy- depression anxiety and right now , post-holidays , you're like this is a lot worse . Yeah , it's exacerbated . There's reason to that .

Speaker 2 15:33

Oh , absolutely , and you're not alone . No , and I know this is very cliche , I get that . Oh , absolutely , and you're not alone . No , and I know this is very cliche , I get that , but there is truth to this that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem or feeling . Yes , so with that , if you do have feelings of suicide , whether you have a plan or not , whether you have a way to do it or not , you need to seek out a therapist , possibly talk to your doctor about a medication .

Speaker 3 16:01

Yeah .

Speaker 2 16:01

That's when I would refer to a doctor for to figure out what is the best option that you have . Yeah , you know , if you are pregnant or postpartum , go to your OB . They do know you . If you are not pregnant or you're like a few years postpartum and you know , maybe your relationship with your OB isn't as close as it used to be , you can still go to your PCP and general practitioner for those things . Right , you don't necessarily have to see a psychiatrist for that .

Speaker 1 16:27

And you know , during this time , there's no shame about medication .

Speaker 2 16:32

No , not at all . There's no shame . There's so many options too . And we have non-narcotic options , if that's a concern .

Speaker 1 16:41

I think that people are afraid to say I'm on a medicine or I need help .

Speaker 3 16:45

Yeah .

Speaker 1 16:46

And so , if this time is feeling so hard for you , the first thing we need to say is like you are not alone .

Speaker 2 16:51

You're not alone .

Speaker 1 16:52

There is no shame , there is no judgment , nope , there is research of why this is so hard .

Speaker 2 16:57

Yes . So if there was a whole research project done on this , that tells you there was actually a very big , sizable group of participants in the study . So if we have that group for the study , imagine how many more there are . That was not in the study .

Speaker 1 17:14

And then you put yourself as a mom on the B .

Speaker 2 17:17

Oh , and all those expectations and dynamics .

Speaker 1 17:21

So I think it's just again like postpartum depression , like postpartum anxiety we have to talk about this .

Speaker 2 17:26

Do so that . Normalize it this .

Speaker 1 17:28

I mean , I always say , instead of what diaper are you using ? It should be like what are we doing for mom's mental health ? And that's the conversations that we have to be having . Absolutely so what are some other , just easy tips or tricks , and we're not talking about if you need suicidal intervention . We're not talking about if you need suicidal intervention .

Speaker 2 17:46

Correct we're not talking about . If you're just dealing with the post-holiday kind of crash , let down blues If we want you to .

Speaker 1 17:51

You know there's 9-8-8 , which is the suicide hotline now . You can . There's always 911 if you need . Absolutely A emergency room . If you are , if you are suicidal and having a plan , we want you to seek immediate help , to seek immediate attention Immediate . This is for we're saying these tips if you know you're feeling down , down that crash

Navigating Post-Holiday Recovery and Self-Care

Speaker 1 18:14

.

Speaker 2 18:14

So , like I mentioned , voice journaling , yes , give yourself the opportunity to get that out , to organize your thoughts . Realize there's not necessarily a fix or a solution to be had , it's just something we're working . Exactly it's going to pass .

Speaker 1 18:29

Spring is coming .

Speaker 2 18:30

Exactly . Well , and this is going to sound silly , but have you ever heard the going on a bear hunt song ? Yes , okay , well , we can't go over it . We can't go under it , we're just going to have to go through . Yes , you are going to have to go through this and it's not pleasant , but you can and you are able to go through this .

Speaker 1 18:50

And you can have help going through it .

Speaker 2 18:51

Exactly so . Voice journal set up a therapy appointment within , you know , last week of December , first couple of weeks of January , to process this kind of stuff . I would encourage you , you know , be mindful of what you're eating , try to have some balance with it . Now , that being said , do I love me some peanut M&Ms ? You better believe I encourage you , you know , be mindful of what you're eating , try to have some balance with it . Yeah , now , that being said , do I love me some peanut m&ms ? You better believe I do , and I'm gonna name me some reese trees and peanut m&ms in my stocking this year try to throw in some fish yeah or chicken , because , if you're like me , I'm not a seafood person .

Speaker 1 19:19

It's not my jam dark chocolate , apparently , is a great option .

Speaker 2 19:22

I've been told um always double check with your doctor . But omega-3s if you're not a seafood person because I am not a seafood person omega-3 supplements do the same thing for our brain health .

Speaker 2 19:33

Vitamin D if we cannot get out and get in the sunlight , Even 10 minutes a day of sunlight exposure , like natural and air , breathe that air I was about to say if you can go for a walk , if it's super cold where you're at , even just driving around , like if it's a sunny day but it's a cold day , get that sunlight drive yes , go for a drive .

Speaker 1 19:54

Get out of the house yeah , as best you can if you know , if this always reasons like even I remember those days and I kind of relate to postpartum just getting up , get a shower , getting ready , getting ready , make your bed , whatever those little things get dressed in real clothes , not jammies , which I'm here for a good jammy day but when we're struggling , when we go through the motions of getting ready and putting something into us helps boost our mood .

Speaker 2 20:24

Yeah , try to stick to a schedule if you can in that routine hygiene and then to try and still get out a little bit , whether that means you go eat with a friend after the holidays yes something yeah , even if you're going and walking around , target just something to get you out of the house , out of your four walls , yes . And then , if you feel overwhelmed with having to organize all the new toys and the gifts and all the things , break it down into doable , achievable steps .

Speaker 1 20:56

You don't have to do it all at once no , and even writing if that helps you like sometimes just writing out a little to-do list like oh , I'm here for it and checking it off is therapeutic to me .

Speaker 2 21:05

I will write things on that I for it and checking it off is therapeutic to me . I will write things on that I have done and check it off because I'm like heck , yeah , I did that and I'm getting credit for it and give yourself grace and be nice to yourself during this time funny movies happy songs , uh-huh and this may sound a little odd , but a little bit of kind of mindless or brainless tv that's funny to you so .

Speaker 2 21:25

So like I love the TV show Scrubs yeah , love it , think it's hilarious . You know some people it's the Office or Schitt's Creek and different things like that . If it's something that you know , you can kind of tap out a little bit .

Speaker 3 21:37

Yeah .

Speaker 2 21:38

Like I've watched Scrubs I have no idea how many times so I can pop in on any episode , really already know what's going on . But it's funny , it's light-hearted , I can sit and fold laundry and I don't have to stay zoned in on it .

Speaker 1 21:50

Yes , you're not trying to like put a plot together exactly so with that too .

Speaker 2 21:54

Just choose lighter things to watch , like that would not be the time I would watch the casey anthony documentary . You got to be glued in on that and that's heavy stuff . Let's not add heavy to heavy . Okay , if you're already drowning , do you need someone to hand you an anchor or a buoy ?

Speaker 1 22:10

Oh yeah , don't hand , a drowning person , an anchor and that's a very important just what we consume .

Speaker 2 22:17

Affects us .

Speaker 1 22:18

Social media , tv music . The friend that always complains and never uplifts you .

Speaker 2 22:24

Have those boundaries in boundaries in the family member .

Speaker 1 22:27

That is just gonna make you feel worse brenda , we're talking about you , uh-huh but being aware during that time , you know , and I think it's , I have that safe person if it's not your therapist and say I'm feeling really down right now . Yeah , and you know , and a lot of times you don't want someone to fix it .

Speaker 2 22:46

You just want to be heard Exactly , which is why voice journaling is so helpful .

Speaker 1 22:51

Because you're not asking someone . It's our nature to fix , and especially personality types and often , like spouses , they want to fix it for you .

Speaker 2 22:58

Yeah , and sometimes there's not something to fix Again , we just have to go through Like the bear hunt . Well , we're going on a bear hunt and we're going to get through the post-holiday crash Together .

Speaker 1 23:09

Yes , all right , guys , till next time , see y'all . Maternal mental health is as important as physical health . The Preview Alliance podcast was created for and by moms dealing with postpartum depression and all its variables , like anxiety , anger and even apathy . Hosted by ceo founder sarah parkhurst and licensed clinical social worker whitney gay , each episode focus on specific issues relevant to pregnancy and postpartum . Join us and hear how other moms have overcome mental health challenges , as well as access tips and suggestions on dealing with your own challenges as moms . You can also browse our podcast library and listen to previous episodes at any time . Please know you're not alone on this journey . We're here to help .