Replay Welcome And What To Expect

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, this is Sarah with the Preview Alliance podcast. This month we are replaying our most downloaded episodes. These episodes are the ones that have resonated the most with you guys. So if you're a longtime listener, this is a great refresher and share this with a friend who may be new. If you're new, welcome, and we hope that these episodes are impactful to you like it has been for others. Thank you for being with us and stay tuned. Hey guys, welcome back to Preview Alliance Podcast. It is Sarah and Whitney. And we are so excited. So May is Marcha Dimesma. Maternal Mental Health. And we and Marcha Dimes are so excited to bring you guys just the core of what we call maternal mental health. That's right. Where we are going to be breaking down to you what is like what is postpartum depression? What is postpartum anxiety? OCD, rage, psychoses, all the things that you probably hear us talking about.

SPEAKER_04 1:08

We're really going to go a little more in detail about this and give clarification on it. But also sometimes these can overlap.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

Right. So it's not like you only have one. Exactly. And it's like when you get normally sick, right? You can have a cough and you can have chills and you can have fatigue. That's right. All the buttons, hey, I've even, my kids have had strep and ear infection at the same time.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

Of course. Why wouldn't they?

SPEAKER_01 1:34

So the same thing for our mental health and moms. So when we're talking about individual diagnosis that at this time, if it's saying if this is resonating with you, we always want you to say, you know, this is not my fault. I'm not a failure. No. And there is help. And with time, I will be well. So the key. So don't let this make you feel like, oh my gosh, this is me. And this is now what? We're gonna tell you what.

SPEAKER_04 2:04

Yeah. So to piggyback off of that, a diagnosis is not a character flaw. Exactly. It is not a character flaw. There's nothing that you've done to earn this or to have a label. It is to give you insight into what you're dealing with, therefore you can start to heal from it.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

And if we don't know what it is, we can't ever take that next step.

SPEAKER_04 2:27

Correct. Well, like you mentioned, so if I'm sick with something and I think, oh, it's just the flu, I don't need to go to the doctor, but really, what if I have pneumonia?

SPEAKER_01 2:37

And then you need definitely those antibiotics. You need to have a lot of people.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

I need the right treatment.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Uh-huh.

Diagnosis Is Not A Flaw

SPEAKER_04 2:43

So that's the same thing when it comes to mental health. When we have a diagnosis, we can appropriately treat the diagnosis. Therefore, we can get you better.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Name it to tame it. That's right. So, okay, guys, we're gonna start with the core. What is postpartum depression? And I think also, like Whitney said, this is the same thing as we talk about a flu, we talk about diabetes, we talk about stroke, heart attack in mainstream. Mental health is something you did not cause or create. Correct. So it is very common, unfortunately. Yes, it is the leading complication of childbirth.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Lately, the numbers are showing one in three after COVID who have caused anxiety, isolation.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

OCD, I would assume, has gone up since COVID. Absolutely. Not that it didn't exist before then, but I think the numbers would be higher post-COVID.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Oh, 100%. And you know, because I think it affects women so much, and women in general's healthcare, that's a soapbox we can get on for a different day. That's a whole podcast on its own. Is often ignored, yeah, dismissed, or like are even just the if you want to even just go off on a soapbox for one minute, the amount of pain control that they give for like men's procedures, like vasectomies, compare to what they give women for IUD placements. Oh, um, if you want to implan if you like me, when um we had the HSG.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

Oh yeah. I was giving nothing. Yeah.

Baby Blues Versus Depression

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Um, so just in general, if like our pain is physical pain, not even emotional pain, is not treated appropriately or equally, the same thing's happening to our mental health. That's right. So let's break it down about the signs of postpartum depression.

SPEAKER_04 4:43

Okay. So to clarify, there is a slight difference between your baby blues and postpartum depression. So let's kind of go in that because your symptoms are gonna look very similar, identical in some cases. So, baby blues, you cry very easily. You're gonna cry over little things that you can kind of logically take a step back and say, Why am I crying over this? This isn't that big of a deal. Right. So, to call myself out, after my older daughter was born, I knocked over the cat food bowl and I burst into tears and I was sobbing in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:17

And I looked at my husband and I said, I don't know why I'm crying over this. It's not a big deal. So you recognized Oh, I recognize that I should not have been sobbing over dry cat food being on a tile floor.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

Right.

SPEAKER_04 5:30

Really, not a hard cleanup.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

So a baby blue moment.

SPEAKER_04 5:35

Very much a baby blues moment, cried at the drop of a hat when normally that is not something that would send me over the edge. Right. That's not gonna be something that I would cry or especially sob over. Now, mind you, I was maybe like five days postpartum.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Right. So baby blues remind them if they've never heard this, when do we expect them?

SPEAKER_04 5:52

We can usually expect baby blues to really be onset, I would say three days postpartum. Sometimes moms do experience that in the hospital, especially if you've had a traumatic birth or if baby goes to NICU.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

However, most of the time, because of the hormone crash, which that is the root of baby blues, right, you're gonna see it around maybe three to four days onset postpartum. Now, baby blues should not last any longer than two weeks.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

So two weeks. So if you so if this onset's happening to you, this new mom, okay, we we know baby blues happen. Statistics say 80, 90 percent. I would say closer to 100%.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

I'm gonna be real and say, yeah, pro we're talking like 99, 98 percent, because it's a hormone crash. There's not a way to avoid or control that. Exactly. It's not like we can supplement with something to kind of ease it down, like in pregnancy, you know, our hormones slowly increase. Right. We don't have a slow decrease, we have a crash. Some moms do say that breastfeeding helped with that at Formula Fed. So I can't speak to that. And I would think that that's a very individual case, too. Some people say breastfeeding made it harder for them, so it just I think it definitely made it harder for me. So, I mean, I hate to say that's very individual. I don't think breastfeeding would be a foolproof way of preventing that.

SPEAKER_01 7:17

No, so baby blues is you're hitting this in that initial postpartum period. Now, the hormones, just explain it for us for a second.

SPEAKER_04 7:26

Okay, so think of it if you've ever seen a plane take off. So we kind of have this gradual ascending into the sky. We're taking our time, even though the plane really is going fast, it's still a gradual incline.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:41

What we would like to see postpartum is that gradual descend to the ground, right? No. That's what we would like to see. That ain't real. What really happens is crash and burn up in flames, uh-huh. And then the kerosene to the fire is sleep deprivation.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yes, an adjustment.

Postpartum Depression Warning Signs

SPEAKER_04 7:59

Yes. Pain, physical pain. Your recovery, now that's if you have a an uncomplicated delivery. Right. Now you throw in a traumatic delivery, vaginal, throw in a stat C section, throw in a NICU stay, throw in hemorrhaging, throw in preoclampsia, throw in help syndrome, all of these different things can absolutely impact and influence our postpartum time frame. So that being said, again, going back to baby blues, you may find yourself crying very easily over stuff that you're like, I don't normally cry over this. This really is not that big of a deal. But here I am sobbing. That should resolve at about two weeks postpartum.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

Now, when we get out of that two-week time frame and you still find yourself crying easily, maybe not over small things like the cat food getting spilled on the floor, but you just find yourself crying easily. Maybe you have self-deprecating thoughts of, I'm not meant to be a mom or my baby deserves better than me. Maybe I need to make an adoption plan for my baby because I'm just not cut out for this. And we do not have a tangible reason to do that. Now, if you have a mom who is homeless and she doesn't have the finances and she can legitimately say, I don't have the means to care for my child, different ball game.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Yeah, we're not talking about it. Different ball game.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

Okay. To those mamas, there are resources. Yeah. Let me just say that. And I'm not saying don't make adoption plans. I'm saying check out your resources before you make a permanent choice.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:37

So for those mamas, if you are listening, there are resources out there for you. Yeah. Let me just throw that out there. But to go back to that postpartum depression, we're looking at, I'm not cut out for this. I'm not good enough. I'm I can't do this. Why did I think I could do this? This is I went through all this just for my baby to be born to a mom that's incapable. So we're gonna have some self-deprecating thoughts. Yes, a lot of self-negativity. And so we're gonna have that I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy enough, my baby deserves better, those crying spells coming on. You may notice too, and this is typical for depression anyway, but if you notice that you are eating all the time or not eating at all, and it is not based on the baby's behavior, okay. I know it can be hard to eat in the newborn stage, but this is if you're choosing not to eat at all, like you just don't have an appetite kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

It's not like you running around with your toddler, your baby strapped, and you're like, Oh, it's three o'clock and I haven't eaten yet. This is like there's you're capable, able, the foods in front of you.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

Correct. It's a granola bar that you can do one-handedly, things of that nature, and you just don't have an appetite, you don't have a desire to eat, or you're eating all the time out of comfort. Again, your appetite does not match the intake of what you're doing. Same thing with sleep. Oh, yes. Now, again, I've lived the newborn stage twice. I get it, babies really do dictate that so much. But if you're not sleeping at all, despite your baby sleeping, or you're sleeping all the time, you don't have that motivation to get out of bed, you don't want to get out of bed, you have no drive to do anything, which again in the newborn stage, we really do need to cut back on our responsibilities to rest and recover.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah.

Getting Help And Finding Providers

SPEAKER_04 11:30

But if it's one of those you're like, I would rather just not. And I tell people too, another indicator of it is you take care of your baby because it's an obligation or a checklist of things you have to do, not because you want to do them. There's not a maternal motherly instinct driving that. Yeah. That is another red flag for postpartum depression. That being said, again, once we get past that initial two weeks postpartum and these symptoms are continuing, you need to reach out to your OB. If you have a therapist, get on board with your therapist, make an appointment. Yeah. Most places, especially in this day and age post-COVID, they offer virtual.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:13

They offer virtual. So call around, see what options are available to you. And honestly, a lot of therapy places do cash rates because insurances are very hit or miss on covering mental health.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

Right.

SPEAKER_04 12:26

So if you know that your insurance does not cover mental health, ask if they have a cash rate.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:33

Because a lot of places do.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

And some places offer sliding scale as well. So just keep that in mind.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

That there's options.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

There's options, and it doesn't hurt to ask. If you call a therapy office and they make you feel bad for asking about cash rates, that's not a good office. And they could have very good therapist, but if that is your front-end staff, that's not what you need.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

That's not because you're gonna have to deal with that person to make appointments. Correct. And it's gonna be it's hard when you want to ask for help or taking that first step to ask for help and being met with an obstacle or unkind, yeah, or making you feel silly.

SPEAKER_04 13:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

That's that's not good at it.

SPEAKER_04 13:15

If they exacerbate the depression, we ain't got we don't need to go there.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Because there's a lot of great places, and you can go on to Postpartum Support International's website.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

I love them.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

And they have a provider directory that is fantastic. And um, that is honestly how when we moved to Alabama, I found Whitney is because you were listed on there and uh and they have the PSI training certification that they know that they are maternal mental health specialists, they get it, they've trained in it.

SPEAKER_04 13:46

Um they also have a 24-7 text line through postpartum support. So while we're based here in Alabama, if you're in Wisconsin, if you're gonna text and use it. Texas, if you're in Utah, if you're wherever else, you can still use that PSI text line.

Stigma And Fear Of Speaking Up

SPEAKER_01 14:02

And it's fantastic. It is, and that's it's a great organization. I think what, and I go back to when I was struggling with postpartum depression, and I've people have asked me this and they're like, So Sarah, why didn't you say say something earlier?

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Okay, so a lot there is still a stigma with mental health as a whole, but I think especially too in postpartums, and I think this existed before social media, but I think social media exacerbates it, is that there is so much mom shaming.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 14:35

And here in the South, well, you should be grateful you have your baby.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Or blessed and highly favored. Yes, and they look at it.

SPEAKER_04 14:43

That baby is healthy, you're here healthy, like you, you, you're not struck, you just need a hot shower and a meal.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 14:49

Well, Aunt Brenda, uh-huh, I'm about to lose my mind on you.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Or we all we all did it.

SPEAKER_04 14:56

Yeah. Well, and here's the thing: if you did it and you didn't struggle, that is a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

We love that for you.

SPEAKER_04 15:03

But if you honestly just crawled through it barely getting by, do you really have fond memories? No, no, you don't.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

You don't, because I know you don't because you're like almost glad that I'm experiencing that hard too when you respond to the city. It's like, so you walked up a hill backwards carrying, you know, a sack in the snow. So I'm supposed to be able to do it. In the middle of July. Yeah, you know, it's like it's just insane.

SPEAKER_04 15:31

It is. And so that being said, there is a lot of stigma. So a lot of moms are scared to reach out because it makes them feel like a bad mom that they're struggling. They worry too that if they say something to their OB about I'm struggling with anxiety, depression, OCD, postpartum rage, any of those things, that DEHR, which is our version of CPS Child Protective Services, is going to come and take the baby away.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

And I worried that with Will.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

Yeah. And well, there are scary stories. Now, granted, we don't know all the nitty-gritty of those stories. Right now. But having worked in the hospital setting of labor and delivery and having worked at DHR, that is not a reason to remove a child from a mom. Right. Now, I will say one time, years ago, I remember working in the hospital. We had a mom who was having active suicidal thoughts. She told us that there was a gun in the glove box. So in the hospital setting, we did take her baby to the nursery. Now, mind you, she had delivered, was discharged, and came back, I don't know, week, two weeks postpartum, telling us that she had suicidal thoughts and a plan and a way to carry out that plan. So what the hospital did was they asked if they could take the baby to the nursery, not the NICU, the nursery, just the nursery, so that while the patient was in the ER, they could get her stabilized.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:02

Now, in those types of situations, do we do we want to take the baby away from the mom? No, we don't. We worry about everybody's safety at that point. Now, mind you, we did have to reassure the mom that it was temporary. Yeah. And that once we got her stabilized, that we could figure out a visitation between her and the baby.

SPEAKER_01 17:22

And you know what? It's just, and I think I and that's what I told people a lot was like, I thought everybody was feeling the way I thought new moms felt the way I felt in the beginning. I think people, my family, thought that this was just to be expected. Then it was the norm. It was the norm. Typical. And then to me, the triggers was like you hear stories of people waking up and not being happy that they woke up. That was me. Yeah. And it was just that day to day of like I was ready for bed to come, but then I knew I wouldn't sleep.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Because I couldn't sleep, even though I was so exhausted. So it was this groundhog day experience. Yeah. And the loss of interest of my thing of normal things that brought me joy. That really hit. And then I also, which we'll we cover this in a different episode, is post-part anxiety. I think anxiety definitely came into mind play as well. But it was I didn't recognize who I was. Yeah. And the fact is, like, I thought this was my forever how I was feeling. And then I lost my hope.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

And so, like you always say, hopelessness is a very dangerous thing. It is. Because I thought this would never change. But I think it goes back to no one ever talked to me about what is postpartum depression. So when it happened and it escalated so quickly, I just thought this was my way of life.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

And I was like, I can't live this way. So I think that's part of the prevention that's so important that people don't like a lot of times healthcare providers, for whatever reasons, don't do a great job. You have to tell them what could happen.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

So that they know there's treatment and they know what it is, and they don't think they have to live that way.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Or they don't think they're a bad mom, or they don't think they're failing, or their friends and family don't dismiss what they're seeing. Yeah. So that and that just was something that I felt was such a disservice, not just to me, but to like moms. Yeah. Because this has been going on for generations. I mean, I've heard stories where they're like, Aunt So-and-so had to watch the baby for a little bit because, you know, your cousin had to take a couple of months away. Or they say the mom went away, or you hear all this stuff and you recognize you're like, oh my gosh, that was postpartum depression or whatever that, you know, anxiety or psychoses that happened to these moms all these generations before us, and now we're talking about it. Yeah. And they're like, oh my gosh, I probably had that.

SPEAKER_04 20:05

Yeah. And it for them, it feels a little intimidating. They feel called out. Yeah. And and I get that because when you, you know, hindsight being 20-20, when you look back and you realize, oh, I was struggling with a mental illness, we also have to look at the generational stigmas.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_04 20:23

So being an 80s baby, I can remember vividly in the 90s and I'd say early 2000s.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

If you went to therapy, you were either court-ordered, so negative connotation to that, or you were a war veteran with severe PTSD. So again, negative connotation. We had, you know, slang terms of you're going to the loony bin. Oh, yeah. You're going to get locked up. Oh, you got to go to that padded cell. She crazy. You're going to get a strait jacket. I mean, come on. Why would anybody want to speak up and get help when we have all this negative slang and connotation?

SPEAKER_01 21:01

And I'll be honest with you, it took me a long time to be to feel how I feel now to be open and honest and share and have no shame. I mean, it took a long time, it took like a decent amount of time to me to get to this point. Because to say I have struggled with mental health issues and this is not who did what defines me.

SPEAKER_04 21:26

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

But I know that I can share it honestly. So, but I mean, even now people get awkward when I share that I suffered from postpartum depression.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Yeah.

Planning Support And Checking On Mom

SPEAKER_01 21:34

They just kind of go, oh, okay. All right, you know, or whatever. And then Lord help them if I say yes, I was suicidal at four months postpartum, then they really just back away at a quarter. So let's just we'll summarize this of this it's common. So be aware, let this know. Baby blues, expect it. Have your family and friends expect that, you know. Happens, it's hormonal. There's not like you can do something to magically stop it, no, but be an aware of it, be aware of it.

SPEAKER_04 22:07

Honestly, what I told a lot of moms, and this is where I came to the conclusion as as well let yourself cry it out.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Don't try to be like, I'm fine, and like then we're just all gonna explode and cry.

SPEAKER_04 22:18

Again, it ends at about two weeks postpartum. Yeah. Post that we really need to look a little deeper that it could be some postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, other things going on.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

So know your time frames.

SPEAKER_04 22:32

Yes, that's that is really clutch.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

And have your family and friends know that too, and have those open conversations in pregnancy. Okay, so I was listening to this podcast. Postpartum depression is the number one complication of childbirth. I am being educated. I'm making you aware that baby blues is something that's coming towards us. We're gonna navigate that. Yeah, we're gonna give ourselves grace during it. But we need to all be watching and say, okay, you know, if I have a friend who just had a baby, I'm checking in with them. Yes. And I think that's so important. If you can kind of if it's not your support person, if it's not your partner, husband, whoever, that's fine. They may be too close in the situation. If it's a friend, a colleague, and say, you know, hey Whitney, how are you doing? Yeah. Um, you know, it I want you to know I'm your safe place. That's right. You can tell me how you're truly feeling. And you know, I think too, what happens is it's always like, How's the baby, Whitney? Is the baby sleeping good? Is this and you're just like, What about me? Yeah. They forget that. So I think that's a thing that has we have to check on mom.

SPEAKER_04 23:37

Oh, absolutely. And here's the thing another thing to reach out to your support system with is okay, can we figure out a meal train? Yes. Or even one of my friends, she was precious when my second one was born. She came by one day because she was having a doctor's appointment near where I lived. She got me lunch, all the things. So about nine-ish, no, maybe about a year later, she had her second one. Well, she lives probably a good 45 minutes to me, and I don't have any, you know, reasons to go out there, no appointments, anything. So, you know what? I Venmo'd her money so that she could door dash something.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

I also say door dash, grub hub, Uber Eats, something. And that has allowed Venmo like that to them to do that.

SPEAKER_04 24:20

Yeah, it gives them the freedom to do whatever they need to do with that.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

And that's such a way to show support and love.

SPEAKER_04 24:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

So in sis, and saying that.

SPEAKER_04 24:28

I can also say that was one of my L and D nurse friends, so we got it. They knew.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

When we know, we know. Once you've had this road of postpartum, like you know what a new mom needs.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

And that's that's not true. She brought me a dye, Dr. Pepper, and Chick-fil-A. I mean, that's my love language.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

That we love that. Okay. That's why we love Chick-fil-A too, and they give great incentives for our women. That's a sign. Heck yes. But so, no, I guess just making like we're talking about postpartum depression right now so openly and honest. That's the key. So talk about it, learn about it, listen into us. We're gonna tell you, we've told you the signs and symptoms.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

Speaking positive affirmations, you're not a bad mom if you struggle. No, mamas, go ahead and put that in the notes section on your phone. Yes, you are not a bad mom if you struggle.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

And this is not something I caused. No, I will be well. Yes, this is temporary, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 25:25

That's a huge mantra right there. Is this too shall pass? This too shall pass. It might be painful like a kidney stone, but it'll pass.

Risk Factors To Watch For

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Oh, that's triggering. I know. I knew it would resonate with you. If you guys have heard my kidney stone issue that we had not too long ago, you know that's a thing. Um, and just know you did nothing to cause this. Correct. So take that shame away, take that guilt away. Have now, we need to just touch on risk factors. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 25:53

So risk factors for postpartum, but any mental health is is there a family history of mental illness? And I know a lot of times, you know, even ADD, ADHD kind of gets swept under the rug of, oh, that's not a big deal. It still falls into the category of a mental illness. So if you have a brother or a parent or a grandparent that got diagnosed with that, it's still a risk factor.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:18

So be aware of that. If your parents have ever struggled with anxiety, depression, PTSD, anything of that nature, realize you are a higher risk because genetics do play a role in everything, not everything. Just our physical health, but also our mental health. Um, if you have a sibling that's ever been diagnosed, realize, okay, well, we share some DNA. Uh yeah. I can be a little higher risk for some things. I would tell you if you've ever had a history of a traumatic delivery, if you are a high-risk pregnancy, um, so gestational diabetes, that's like help sending it, helps. Preclampsia, IUGR, macrosomaly. Did I say that right? Yeah. Okay. Um, you know, so all of those things, you know, if you end up having a stat C section and you're in the postpartum, realize that could be traumatic, you know, that could be, you know, a risk factor. If you have a traumatic vaginal delivery, because those do happen very much. Those mamas with the fourth degrees. Or that's awful.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

And it's a rush situation. I mean, I think anything traumatic is to what is something that you did not prepare for or anticipate.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

So your epidural didn't work, so you felt everything. Uh-huh. Or you didn't get a chance for an epidural. Yeah. That's traumatic. Hello. Um, if you deliver in the car or in the parking lot.

SPEAKER_01 27:38

I've had a couple of um people I know from college that's had those situations.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

I'm just like, Yeah, we had them a few times in the hospital. It was bananas. I mean, I'd rather deliver in an ambulance than the parking deck if I'm being real, because at least I have paramedics there to, you know, be on board. Oh my gosh. Um, what else? Let's see. Oh, thyroid. We always talk about thyroid. Yeah, that definitely was a contributing factor to my anxiety until we diagnosed my thyroid problem.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

So have most providers should be doing a basic thyroid, like THS TSH and T3T4. Basic in the beginning of pregnancy.

SPEAKER_04 28:13

Because you can have pregnancy-induced thyroid problems.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

So that should be on their radar, and that should be part of the zillion blood work you have to give in the beginning. So you can always ask and just say, hey, what's my thyroid numbers? Um, within normal range, is there anything you know of? I will say um when I had had our first miscarriage, I immediately was like, let's check my thyroid because that is a correlation.

SPEAKER_04 28:36

Low iron can contribute to it as well because low iron makes us feel fatigued and that always exacerbates anything that's going on.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Vitamin D is huge just for us and overall. You know, other we're speaking to like our um if the pregnancy was unwanted, unplanned, that can definitely be a risk factor. History of those losses, miscarriages, um, stillborns.

SPEAKER_04 29:00

Honestly, even neonatals or child loss. Oh, absolutely. I have a friend that lost her twin boys just um a week or so after their first birthday because they were born with a pretty rare genetic disorder and they spent the majority of their lives at children's hospital. And, you know, whenever she does get pregnant again, that's gonna be triggering.

SPEAKER_01 29:23

Oh, I I mean, I will say the miscarriages that I've had, the fact of even seeing a positive pregnancy after that it starts mentally for me at that moment. Absolutely. Um and once you've experienced loss, I just don't think you can with that. I just think your mind and body just will never let you know what it's like without like that night, like that joy.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

It's a protective measure to be on guard. 100%. Um, I would even say something like if you've had an ovarian cyst rupture before during pregnancy, ectopic pregnancies put you at a higher risk for those things.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

If you are yourself have medical complications and you've like had to be closely watched for your own health, then now your kit your health and your baby's health's in board because pregnancy is physically taxing on your body. So you're putting those already kind of trying their best organs in overdrive. Yep. Um, baby with special needs, the NICU experience can be um difficulty breastfeeding is we have to put that out there because it's that can lead you down quickly a road. And people don't like to tell you this, but fat is best, and yeah, fed and mental health of a mom.

SPEAKER_04 30:42

Hey, I formula fed both my babies from the get-go, and that's okay.

Daily Tools For Anxiety And Depression

SPEAKER_01 30:48

They're fine, they are, and the pressure that's put on moms to breastfeed when they don't want to, can't, or simply just choose like this is not for me, my mental health, that's just that's a whole way to make a mom feel guilty and unworthy. Absolutely. And then, you know, if you have no support or you're in a domestic um or verbal, physically just abusive relationship, that with no support or you're away from family, um, say your husband's deployed. Yeah. Say you've lost a spouse. Lack of support overall. W financial issues, all those things that we would look at outside of pregnancy and say, yeah, that could be like super hard and depressing. It's 10 times more because now we have hormones at play. Yeah. You're not sleeping. We have a small person dependent on us fully. Because it's a huge life adjustment. So yeah. If any of these risk factors, if you're pregnant, you're hearing that, just recognize hey, it it's not saying you're going to have it. We're saying just be more aware of that. It's set up in, you know, the US task force recommends if you have a risk factor of these, that you should start therapy in pregnancy. Yes. Even if it's once a month, even if it's once a month's checked in, and that's why with previous, we so strongly, when they do the profile and complete the risk factors, yeah, we offer that therapy. Yes. It's because we're following the task force recommendations because we know it suits a mom and it's going to serve a mom. It's vital. So if this is resonating with you, you're pregnant, you're postpartum, ask for help. Yeah. And let's talk about just recovery and when. And I wish someone would have told me this, but the sooner I would have reached out and sooner I would have got treatment, the faster I would have got better.

SPEAKER_04 32:35

Oh, absolutely. Early intervention is best intervention for anything. Oh, thousand percent.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

If you've got a cut and it's starting to get infected, we want to get like the first sign of infection. We don't want to.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

I thought I could just put a band-aid on it and we gravy.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Oh, that's that's what they try to tell us.

SPEAKER_04 32:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

That's how we all end up. So you're telling me I'm lost in the hospital. That's what we do to moms. We we give them a band-aid when they need full-on Ivy antibiotics, they need to have it monitored, watched, and a constant treatment plan. Yep. That's why moms literally are like their arms are falling off. Is because that's the thing. And you know, the first step is the hardest step. It is. And if you won't ask for help for yourself, do it for your child. And that's what someone told me. And that's why I needed to hear. And then besides therapy, if they're like, okay, Whitney, what else can I just do on the day-to-day to make myself feel better?

SPEAKER_04 33:35

So, you know, I love me some voice journaling.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

We love our voice journals.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

So if you've got an iPhone and Android, I don't know if Google phones have this. I would assume that they do, but I'm not a hundred percent sure. You should have an app called a voice memo app. You just open it up and you hit that record button and you just say whatever it is that you need to say. You let it out. Get that off your chest. And the point of that is truly just to decompress, have a safe outlet for it. And the thing is, you may not even be looking for a solution.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

You sometimes it's kind of like you just gotta let it out. Let it be.

SPEAKER_04 34:06

And then you're not gonna get unsolicited advice and feedback from your phone. So it's a safe place just to get stuff out. And if you're like me and you're an auditory processor, when I start talking out loud, I'm like, oh, here's a different perspective. Or maybe this is a solution. Oh, maybe I do like that option. Yeah. It just gives you a chance to organize your thoughts.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

I like that.

SPEAKER_04 34:30

So you just decompress, you don't have to do it for a certain amount of time. There's not a criteria to that. You may need 30 seconds, you may need five minutes. I am not the one to put that criteria on there. You do what you need to do.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:44

Um, another good option, especially if you're having like the physical symptoms of the city.

SPEAKER_01 34:48

And that's something to say is depression anxiety can be physical. Yes. You can have headaches, you can have body aches, you can have stomach distress, stomach distress. I know with mine anxiety, I couldn't keep anything down. Yeah. It goes uncommon. It would go through me. Uh-huh. TMI, guys, but it was just like I knew I was not, I know some people like a fever blisters when they have really bad anxiety. Um, I know some that's back hurts.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

Yeah, you get the tension in your neck and shoulders. Uh-huh. All that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

So it can be physical.

SPEAKER_04 35:19

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Which that's hard. I think that's being dismissed too. A lot of these signs and symptoms of just depression anxiety in general, because you just had a baby and your provider's like, well, yeah, your back probably hurts because you're bent over now or you're not sleeping, you had a C-section, or whatever. Um, but walking helped me getting a little sunlight, fresh air.

SPEAKER_04 35:40

Yeah, absolutely. If it's a good time of year and the weather is good, go for it. Butterfly tapping is another really good option. And that's where you take your hands and you kind of do them in an X and make it to where like your middle finger's kind of touching just under your shoulder blade. And you just want to alternate tapping your hands. You're not gonna go fast, and you don't have to go in a very specific rhythm, but just tap for a little bit. And I know some people do both hands at the same time, but that's okay too. You're not gonna rush it, and you don't have to do a certain pattern or rhythm to it, just up and down. And that little bit of compression on your chest really does help. Think of like a weighted blanket. You're provided you are you you are your own weighted blankets.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

That's why those things sold out like crazy.

SPEAKER_04 36:30

I'm saying it and then doing the butterfly tap is just a good way of kind of resetting your central nervous system in a sense. And it's a tactile grounding method. I love that. And so other tactile grounding methods that you can do, let's just say you're in the car and all of a sudden you kind of get hit with anxiety. Um, and there's not necessarily a trigger, it just kind of hits you. If you've got sanitizer in the car, take in some slow breaths of sanitizer. That can also help with nausea too. The rubbing alcohol can very much help with nausea. Um, if you've got lotion, do that. Smell it, smell it. So we're utilizing our sense of smell. If you've got gum with you, candy, something to drink, take that in.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

I bring my VA with me.

SPEAKER_04 37:16

That's right. So we're utilizing our sense of taste. You can do that. And for touch, it's a little bit harder, obviously, if you're driving. But again, if you can squirt maybe some of that sanitizer on your hands, see how that feels. Or if you do have a bottle of water, coke, whatever in the car with you, put that cold on your neck.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Let's just do it now to fill it because I'm like obsessed with it. Yeah. Or my do the wrist.

SPEAKER_04 37:40

I was about to say you can do it on your wrist as a pulse point, you can do it on your neck as a pulse point. Sometimes it's good to do it on the back of your neck because that's where a lot of people feel heat. Yes, I heat is another symptom of anxiety, is if you get a hot flash all of a sudden. So that's another, you know, that's another symptom of it.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Whew, we've all had that where we just literally feel like our body's on fire.

SPEAKER_04 38:04

Yes. So, but if you're at home, for example, if you can walk outside barefoot for 15 seconds and just feel the blades of grass on your feet.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

I can be honest with you this morning, uh-huh. Uh trying to get everybody up and out the door. I stepped outside for a second. Look at you. I know, you know, baby James is on my hip. But we took out and we grounded together for a minute.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

See, and our kids can learn these coping skills from us. You can also splash water on your face, grab something cold out of the fridge or freezer.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

We both came back better.

unknown 38:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:33

We get an opportunity to ground, and that really does just take the edge off. I'm not saying it is a cure for anxiety or depression or anything, but it takes the edge off. It helps us feel like we have a little bit more of a level head. We can take that deep breath and say, okay, I've had my little reset now. Let's go in.

Crisis Steps And Sharing The Message

SPEAKER_01 38:55

It's just like almost I relate it to like the Tasmanian devil, you slow it to where he's at least not spinning. Correct. And that's what we need to do in those moments. And again, if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or your child, that is something that you need to get immediate help with.

SPEAKER_04 39:17

That would be a 911 or go to your closest emergency room. You can call your OB's office, but they're gonna tell you those same things.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

They are, and there is a new 988 mental health suicide hotline that you can, but and it's a text line too, if I'm not mistaken. You can text and you can call, and it's 24-7, but there I will stress it enough, you are wanted, you are cared for, that's right, and you will, your life is worth living. We can overcome this, we can overcome it. It is a temporary feeling, and there is help. So if you if that resonates with you and you feel like there's no choice, and I can and I have been there and I am so glad that I got help and that I'm not ashamed to say that. Correct. And there's no shame.

SPEAKER_04 40:01

But no, well, you didn't do anything wrong. No, guilt and shame are reserved for when you do something wrong.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

And see, that is just what someone needed to tell me, you know, four and a half years ago that no one did. So I'm so glad that the people who are listening now, they hear that. Yeah. Okay, guys, we will be with you this whole month giving you more tools, more send this, share this to your mom friends. Heck yes. Send it to make your husband listen to it, okay? When he's in the restroom, we know for like two hours. I was about to say a while. So hot minute. Till next time, guys. All right, see ya. Maternal mental health is as important as physical health. The Preview Alliance podcast was created for and by moms dealing with postpartum depression and all its variables, like anxiety, anger, and even apathy. Hosted by CEO, founder Sarah Parkers, and licensed clinical social worker Whitney Gay, each episode focuses on specific issues relevant to pregnancy and postpartum. Join us and hear how other moms have overcome mental health challenges as well as access tips and suggestions on dealing with your own challenges as moms. You can also browse our podcast library and listen to previous episodes at any time. Please know you're not alone on this journey. We're here to help.