Welcome And Weekend Catch-Up

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hi guys, welcome back to Preview Lines Podcast. This is Sarah, and I've got my favorite therapist, Whitney. Hi, my friend. Hey. Whitney, what did you do this past weekend?

SPEAKER_01 0:20

We went back to school shopping because it was tax-free weekend in Alabama. Yay!

SPEAKER_00 0:26

I was living it up, y'all. Y'all don't be damned. And do you think going back to school is just hard on the girls, or do you think Whitney's feeling it?

SPEAKER_01 0:36

But all of the above. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. All of the above. There's so many reasons.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

So many reasons. But I

Back-To-School Feelings For Moms

SPEAKER_00 0:44

feel like it's back to school time. And moms, we do this, we focus so much on what our kids need, what our partners need, what our work needs, what our everybody needs. And just like anything, it's a transition, but that's hard on you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Right. Oh, absolutely. And again, when we say for so many reasons, I know I can't be the only mom that gets a little sentimental thinking, what do you mean my babies are going into first and fourth? Like, am I about to have a big kid? Like, I cannot approve that. So, and you know, memories will pop up on Facebook. And it's been a year since my youngest did kindergarten camp, and it's been four years since my oldest did kindergarten camp. And I'm like, What how is time going this fast? I am not cool with that. So we've got a sentimental piece of it, but then too, it's we got to get back into the routines of going to bed on time and getting up on time and getting ready. But then, because we want to throw another wrench in it, because why not?

Carpool And After-School Logistics

SPEAKER_01 1:49

You know, for fun sake. Like our school doesn't start after school care until about middle of the following week. So we go back to school on a Thursday, and then typically that after school care doesn't start until Tuesday or Wednesday. So then I'm having to cut my work days in half to go get them from carpool line because that's that's what it has to be because my husband works for a different school system that's about 20-ish minutes away. He's not gonna make it to carpool line by 240.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

No, no, and carpool line is wild where my kids go to school. We don't have bus options, so it's always carpool, but it's it's it's wild that schools are like, hey, parents work, hey, do this, yeah, but drop off at this time, pick up at this time. We're gonna have 20 half days in the first two months of school. That you know, because here here's a 50-item list of uh things you need to get. And on top of all the back to school shopping and the navigating, you also have a lot, like every you you know, the mom worries. Okay, are they gonna be with their friends in the class? Is this a new grade? How is their relationship if they had a hard year last year? Right. You know, those it's like you're triggered, you're bringing in those fears. It's like oh, for sure. What are we walking into? What is this?

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Absolutely, what will this be like?

Advocating For Learning Supports

SPEAKER_01 3:16

And I mean, y'all, I think we talked about this quite a bit a few years ago when I was getting my first daughter diagnosed with ADHD and like, how is this gonna work? And da da da. And separately, my youngest, we got her evaluated for dyslexia at the end of her kindergarten year. She wasn't diagnosed with it, but she was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder. Mind you, she's my ENT baby. She had to have the tubes recurrent ear infections. Well, she's also had an articulation test, and now we got to get speech therapy on board, which here's the thing: I'm here for it. Like, yes, get the resources, we can work through this. This is not a permanent obstacle, but now I'm trying to wrap my mind around, okay, well, we're going to start school on this day. When do I need to reach back out to the assistant principal and say, hey, we did this over the summer, how do we go about getting these resources in place? Because it is about timing, and I don't want to overload the school because I don't want it to fall through the cracks, but I don't want to wait too late. And so it's very strategic. So, us mamas who are trying to figure out juggling those extra resources or supports to put in place for our babies, I see you. It's hard. I see you. It is so much to juggle, and you're not alone, and you're not a bad mom. You're not a bad mom if you need these things, but gracious, it is a lot to juggle. And then your own work schedules trying to accommodate all of these extras. And I don't know about y'all, but I feel like we just got in the groove up summer.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

We just got in the groove, and it's like the emails from school are coming. It's just the mental, the mental jigsaw starts, right? Of like, you know, the lunches, the planning, the homework, your nose coming, the after-school care, the sports, the teachers start communicating. You're going, okay, great. Can they fit into these clothes that we just bought at the beginning? No, maybe not. You know, that constant, I mean, it's a running list. So, I mean, we all should lists are great. We all utilize lists, but sometimes it does, it does feel like you can't you mark one thing off, 10 things get added.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Yeah, gracious, yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Your normal life doesn't stop during this process. Your normal things do not, your kids don't magically get in this little box while you handle everything for back to school.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Right. Yeah, it's it's so much to

Calendars Holidays And One Sport Rule

SPEAKER_01 5:36

juggle. And you know, I'm one of those, you know, type A enlist sneaks in my heart. And so around this time every year, I've gotten to where I will pull up my work calendar, my kids' school calendar, and my husband's school calendar. And I kind of coordinate to see, okay, well, what office holidays do we observe? How does that coordinate with the school schedules? And it's one of those like my husband's school takes Veterans Day off, so do my kids' school, but my office, we observe it, but I can choose to work that day, but then there's another day later in November that he has to work, but they're off. So it's like I'll work Veterans Day, and we kind of do this tag team situation, and it is a lot of work, it's a lot of work, and it's not simple, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

I remember my sister-in-law asked about what something was on do we use one group or whatever calendar? I'm like, we have five essentially, like that we all look through, and it's because the school calendar, I call it like the master calendar. When you get those dates of school from the school, you know, that you know, you're like, okay, this is my year. Okay, this they dictate my life. They do. They do. Yeah. And that's hard, but you just gotta bow down to it because it is what it is. But to your point, you're doing all that, plus you're having your anxieties and fears added on of like, are they gonna be okay again with their friends? And you know, I think it's just that extra layer of you're trying to do your best, you're watching them grow, you're navigating life, and it takes, you know, it takes a couple of months to get to the groove. And then you hit holidays. So you also know you're starting down this like last part of the year, this last quarter that goes zero to a million.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Yeah. You know, it makes me think of when you're in that newborn stage, and about the time you feel like you're in a groove with your newborn, they hit a new developmental leap or stage, and everything is off kilter again. That's how it is going back to school. It is, it is, it's hard. As soon as you're in the group, oh holiday time. Okay, now you're back in the group spring break. Oh, you're back in the group now state testing, and it's like, y'all, I just barely turned around and y'all are throwing something else at me.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Uh-huh. No, and it it's hard to know what to say no to because we're both pretty big advocates of just like one sport at a time. Oh, yes, that was important. You know, but some people choose to do more, and that's hard. The overscheduling is hard because I want to ask you how. Teach me your ways because goodness gracious, how it's very difficult navigating, plus you add on the sports schedules. It it gets to a point where you're just like, your free time is at the school or at a sports event. Then you the older they get, the homework comes out more summer at the break, right? And some of it has its own challenges, like we've we've talked about in previous episodes. But school is like, it's it's time like show up and put up and nose to the groundstone, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Get ready.

Germs Lice And School Nurse Emails

SPEAKER_00 8:48

And then you think too, you're like, okay, in your back of your head, you know, me and some of my college girlfriends were thinking about uh all girls' truck. Well, the past couple of years, you know what's happened every time we've tried to do it sicknesses. Oh it comes. You kind of know, hey, my immune system is doing really good right now. And I know there's some new germs and viruses in the school halls. Oh, yeah, that are that they're lurking. They're lurking. I mean, the res the truly body response when I get lice notifications that happens in my email.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Uh see, that's one thing I'm not loving because it's not like you can build an immunity to lice.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. I mean, you can do the rosemary spray. We've done we do that. Honestly, and that, and you know, they do will not jump as much on like dirty hair. Right. So, you know, to you don't have to wash as often. But I mean, when you get that or you get the panic, hey, we're having a GI bug go through the school, or there's cases of flu, and you get these emails, you know those emails are coming from the school nurse, and you're just like, you see this woman's name, and every parts of you go, Oh my god, what's happening?

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Yeah, that's coming. Like, I it's a double-edged sword because I appreciate you letting me know. I really do. But now my anxiety is kicked up into how am I going to protect my kids from this? It's super fun. Super fun.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

So it's not like I feel like we're I I like almost work myself up in the anxiety doom of coming back, but it because it is great because you do get to see the growth and you get a new. And sometimes you could be like, it was a bad year last year. I'm ready for a new year. It's a fresh start. It's a fresh start, or you're like, this is a new start. Like my kids go into this next chapter. It's also tricky when you have more than one kid.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Yes, it is tricky because you've got to like our meet the teacher day, they did basically do like an hour block for each grade and it's kindergarten three fifths. So at eight, it's kindergarten nine, first, and so on and so forth. Well, my kids are in first and fourth, so we're at opposite ends of the day. Like I've got a 9 a.m. meet the teacher and a 1 p.m. meet the teacher. And then to their credit, they do like a three to four meet the teacher for all the grades. So we've just gotten to where we do that because I can't be back and forth from work like that. It's just too

Streamlining Supplies And Practice Runs

SPEAKER_01 11:12

much. And so one thing I would encourage mamas is what can you streamline? Well, you may really love the opportunity to do that one-on-one with each child for Meet the Teacher. That may not be possible, and that's okay. Do the one-hour slot and go do both at the same time. It will be okay, I promise. Our school does something really neat where you can pre-order your kids' school supplies from them and they get delivered to your house, and it is exactly what they need for that grade. I cannot recommend that enough. We've done it for a few years in a row. It's affordable, it is easy. I know for sure they're going to get what they need. And then, like this past weekend when we were back to school shopping, I'm like, yes, grab an extra pack of crayons and markers and construction paper for your classrooms. Totally fine to fluff up what the teachers need in their rooms, but we're not going all out. I don't have to have this list and checking it off for both, like, mm-mm. And then they each got to go pick out their backpacks. Like that was fine. Y'all can have those things and a couple of fun little folders, but otherwise, we're not going all out because I have the box at home of what you need.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Streamline what you can.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

And I think the more prepared you can be, I think it is, and it's it's it's hard. And you're like, I want to still enjoy summer, but you know, go ahead. And if you, you know, they're going to start to back to school sales on clothes if it's not tax-free weekend, you know, my boys have to wear uniforms. So I'm I'm looking for those lands and coupons, um and going ahead and getting a size up or two, which I know should they'll probably definitely be by Christmas, you know, and two, just like if I don't have to worry about lunches there, provided lunches there, which is great. But yes, you know, just thinking about okay, then what does mapping out what would my day work out? Like what what time would I need to get up? How do what time again do we need to leave? And even starting that doing a couple trial runs. Yes. Like the week or two before to get everybody in the routine.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Um for my kids, that way it's not just a shock to them when we start school at about two and a half, three weeks.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Because that shocks everybody's system.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Right. It's terrible. And if we can gradually incorporate it, like getting my oldest back on her ADHD medicine. Like we're gonna start getting back into the routine of that again so that it's not first day of school and it's just chaos. I mean, it's already chaos anyway. Like, I will remove an element of the chaos.

Big Emotions And Hard Is Okay

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Well, and you can't judge yourself or your kids on that first couple weeks back to school because it is so hard. And it's not talked about enough, but probably your kids, you know, they're gonna come home, they're gonna be grouchy, they're gonna be moody, they're gonna crash. And if you have homework or you have sports after, it's gonna take like some mental endurance buildup. But it we all experience it. The post-school, we let they hold their little emotions together all day.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

I do that masking, it's to do that 100%.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

But you know, you it's they're learning friendships, they're learning social, social interactions, learning a new teacher, and what does new teacher expect of you? New classroom, new friends, new roles, responsibilities. So I think too, knowing that part's coming, that can feel a little like overwhelming, overwhelming that we're gonna have all these big emotions. But you know what? We do it every single year. We do, and we get through with it. And just because it's hard doesn't mean we don't do it. And it's like that is what we try to tell our kids is hard is okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Yes, yeah, hard does not equal bad.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

No, even though we feel that way, but Whitney will survive this and we will trug through this, and you know what, and then we'll go right into the holidays. But listeners, we'll be with you for the holidays, so we're we're right there too. All right, well, we will be back next week. But and if you guys had we've had some pretty good episodes in the past too about like starting back to school and transitions. So if you haven't listened to those and this is relevant to you, type in your search bar, Preview Alliance Podcast, and proves what we have. If that we'll be back next week. See ya. Maternal mental health is as important as physical health. The Preview Alliance podcast was created for and by moms dealing with postpartum depression and all its variables like anxiety, anger, and even apathy. Hosted by CEO, founder Sarah Parkers, and licensed clinical social worker Whitney Gay, each episode focuses on specific issues relevant to pregnancy and postpartum. Join us and hear how other moms have overcome mental health challenges as well as access tips and suggestions on dealing with your own challenges as moms. You can also browse our podcast library and listen to previous episodes at any time. Please know you're not alone on this journey. We're here to help.